short and not super sweet

so...the nike women's 1/2 marathon was today. It was ok. It was my slowest half ever in my 2 1/2 year history. And that is OK. I think at mile 8 of a race I realized that this is not gonna be me PR and I had two choices: take walk breaks or keep trudging along.

I don't do walk breaks.

Here are my race lessons:
1) Don't assume that just because you have ran a 1/2 in 2:02, you can do it again without training. 31 year old bodies don't quite work that way.

2) Though the race was enjoyable, it was a little too Corporate America for my taste. Though Tiffany finisher necklaces wrapped in blue boxes with white bows, jamba juice smoothies and nike schwag are nice---it is rather off putting in these strange economic times. When I run because I am going to get all this "stuff," it overrides the true reason I run: it makes my soul feel good.
Props to the race organizers because it was well organized and efficient. I am glad I did this race because it is another one to check off.

A lot can happen over 7 months...

Sunday is the Nike Women's 1/2 Marathon. Yes, I was one of the very fortunate 20,000 women chosen at random by a lottery to participate. This is the 5th year of the marathon/1/2 marathon and it is definitely a "to do" race for Bay Area female athletes. This is the race where you get a tiffany finisher's necklace handed to you by SF firemen dressed in tuxedos. I actually have never done this race, but entered the lottery last March (about a month into my 1/2 iron training).

The problem with registering for a race seven months before the event is the fact that you don't know where you will be in the future. A lot can happen over 7 months. Take me, for example. Since March of 2008 I have: had a total career change into the non-profit world; trained for a crazy endurance event; found out what my core was and tortured it; bought my first house with the hubby; had a half marathon PR; raced another 1/2 a month later NINE minutes slower; became obsessed with Gossip Girl; swam to the Presidio from Alcatraz; went back to my (almost) natural hair color; completed 7 triathlons only to crash my bike at my BIG one and received a mild concussion mixed with my first DNF; and FINALLY finishing a half-ironman and now...

I am kinda tired.

Tired of moving. Tired of packing my tri-backpack and fretting over whether I packed the right shoes. Tired of eating weird food like chicken broth with sirachu sauce and peanut butter check mix the night before a race. I am wondering what the hack happened to my mojo.

Thursday I had my last workout of the year with coach Heidi and she (as usual) had very helpful words:

"I think you should take 6-8 weeks off from racing. And that includes training. You can do yoga, go for a bike ride...but you are raced out."

And she is so right.

Unfortunately...I have this Nike race on Sunday. And the Catalina triathlon in November. So, basically from November 8 to the end of the year I will be a race-free Jill.

At first I was doubtful. I always loved doing the Silicon Valley Turkey Trot. Would it be horrible to miss it this year?

The answer: of course not. Do I need ANOTHER turkey trot t-shirt? nah. If I really want to be a part of the race, I can always volunteer.

This Sunday's race, however, I have NO clue how it will go. My training has been either sporadic or non-existent. The last time I ran over 6 miles was at the Big Kahuna and that was more of moving my legs to avoid passing out then it was running. I have decided that this race will be my "casual attitude" race. I am not going to stress about it and just feel fortunate that my name was picked to run 13.1 miles for a tiffany necklace.

There are worse ways to spend a Sunday morning, right?

Have I become Mr. Big?

On Sunday I did the Mermaid Triathlon in Santa Cruz. I was looking forward to this event because it is put on by the group who helped me train for my 1st half-iron. Mermaid events are awesome because they are all women, super supportive and you get great race t-shirts and finisher necklaces.

This race, however, was not my best effort.

I don't know what the heck is going on with me---but my motivation is not as present as it has been in the past. Since the Big Kahuna 3 weeks ago, my training has been pretty non-existent. I just look at my bike and think, "ugh!" Isn't that terrible? I am like a bad boyfriend. I loved my bike when it was shiny and new and jazzed it up with pink handlebars and accessories. I worked hard to get better, but I didn't work as hard as I should have. I didn't take the time to get to know my bike, to know how to ride it safely. And once things got rough and I had a bad bike crash, my feelings for my bike started to fade.

Have I become Mr. Big and is my bike Carrie?

Anyways--back to Sunday's race. My coach suggested I sign up for the Mighty Mermaid which is the same course, but you do it twice. Of course I signed up for it because I am stupid and do things without thinking about them. That is how I found myself jumping off a ferry near Alcatraz.

Here are some highlights from this race:
1) Swim was good. I didn't maul any sea life this time. Doing the course the second time is kind of strange. I had to exit the ocean, run under the pier and then jump back in. I miscalculated the depth of the water and landed on the sand. ouch.

2) You have to run up a bunch of stairs to get to the bike transition after the swim. THAT SUCKED! It must have been 180 stairs. ugh!

3) The hills on the bike were tough but I powered through them. I still hate that feeling of finishing the bike and seeing all the other bikes on the rack. Oh well.

4) The run was ok---I just didn't have my fire. Where did my speed go?

Fortunately I didn't set unreasonable goals for this race. I wanted to have a good time, cheer my friends on and be inspired by women of all ages and sizes challenging themselves.


I have decided that my last triathlon of 2008 (Catalina in November) is going to be the race where I push myself. I am ready to finish strong and fast!

So...that pretty much means peeling myself off the couch. Rats.

It is one thing for ME to doubt myself...

Now that the tri racing season is almost over, I have to think about what my next goal is. I talked to my coach yesterday about my frustrations of being a sucky cyclist. Her suggestion?

"I think you should take up mountain biking!"


After I stopped laughing in my head, I though: "uh---heck no."

I had no, I repeat, NO desire to ever get on a mountain bike. I watched the Exterra Tahoe triathlon on TV last year and watching the cyclists tear through single tracks made me almost yack. I am a bona fide klutz who knows her limitations.

But then my coach went on to tell me that on a mountain bike, you really have to trust yourself because if you stop trusting your body, then you go down. She reasoned that it would really improve my confidence on the bike.

"Would it?" I thought to myself.

And then the seed was planted...the same type of seed that made me sign up for Alcatraz. That seed is evil, I tell you.

But would we have room in our garage for ANOTHER bike? Then I started thinking about how much cuter mountain bike clothes are than road cycling. I was already envisioning myself all decked out in REI's fall fashions.

I let the idea marinate overnight and then I told Dennis.

"Heidi thinks if I pick up mountain biking it will make me a stronger cyclist."

His eyes kinda bugged out of his face, which I anticpated. That is the "Jill has one of her crazy ideas" faces. (I wonder if we are a Lucy and Ricky for the millennium).

He coughed, "Uh yeah....I am not sure about that....you will probably hurt yourself."

Oh.No.He.Did.Not.

It is one thing for ME to doubt myself, but when someone else doubts it---I just want to do it even more.

Later this morning, I sent him an e-mail:

"I hope you realize that you doubting I can mountain bike only eggs me on."

He wrote back:

"Ha ha...I already looked up some women's mountain bikes this morning."

I smiled at the words on my monitor.

Millenium Lucy loves her Ricky. He eventually comes around and is her biggest supporter.

What next?

So, it is over. 7 months (9 if you count when I registered for the race), 2 bike helmets, 2 pairs of shoes, 7 race swim caps, one bike crash and mild concussion and I finally finished my first half-ironman yesterday. How do I feel? In all honesty---relief, mixed with mild disappointment. I liken finishing the race to graduating high school. There was all of this preparation, anticipation, buying of special outfits but when it is all over, I just think two things:

“I could have done it better.”

And:

“What next?”

Except, the day after graduating high school I didn’t feel like I got hit by a bus.

Three weeks ago I signed up for Big Kahuna triathlon in Santa Cruz because I wanted closure from my bike crash and DNF from Barb’s Race. The problem was, I didn’t exactly train very well post-Barb’s. I was on the couch because my shoulder hurt for a couple weeks and then the idea of training more seemed…exhausting. I think I was just spent from training so hard in June and July and when August came with not finishing Barb’s it just seemed unappealing to train more. I was at my peak 5 weeks ago, and suddenly I just felt blah.

I came to the race in a totally uncharacteristic fashion. Usually racing is the one time I get a little type A---specifically triathlons. The multi-sports mean you have to have everything packed and ready to go for swimming, running and cycling. My biggest fear is that I am getting my transition ready and I pull out two left running shoes. If you know me well, you know this is a big possibility.

At the Kahuna, the only time I got mildly OCD was when I couldn’t find my helmet number. Other than that, I was pretty calm and collected. I only had two goals: not to bite it on the bike and to finish before they closed the race.

So, here are some key points to my race, from start to finish.

1) Jumping in the ocean at sunrise in Santa Cruz on a clear morning is very awesome.

2) Clawing through slimy seaweed, however, is not.

3) ¾ of the way through the swim I smacked a fellow swimmer on accident. Except when I looked up, I realized it was a seal.

4) Whoever designed the transition from swim to bike at this race is a cruel person. Running barefoot ½ mile on Santa Cruz sidewalks is not fun.

5) When you take time off from cycling---the crotch is the first to go. The bike ride was torturous and I felt so out of shape.

6) It felt like I was the last cyclist at the end of the bike portion. When I got to the transition zone, it seemed like all the bikes were there already.

7) The run was the first time in my 8 year racing history where I felt like I might puke.

8) Whoever decided to make the last ½ mile of the race end on the sand is super duper cruel.

9) Having to zig-zag through children playing on the beach may have even been tougher than the bike portion.

10) The best part of the race? Having Mermaid Coach Heidi as the announcer at the finish line. As I ran through the crowd she said on the loudspeaker: “There she is ---Jill! She trained since February and is finishing her first half-ironman!” Heidi, aside from my husband, as been a major supporter of me since February and it felt very fitting to have her close the journey she helped me begin.

11) 7 hours and 54 minutes or so (I can’t remember the exact time) is a heck of a long time to move my body.

So, it is over. I keep waiting for the sense of accomplishment to hit me, but I just think about bits and pieces of these past 7 months and try to put them together to make something whole. Yesterday was very humbling…I was in the very bottom portion of finishers. But, I was also relieved when I got off my bike in one piece and no flat tires. Yeah, it sucks to run a half marathon in 2 hours and 45 minutes when I did one in March in 2:02, but I also didn’t swim 1.2 or bike 56 miles before that race.

I remember going to a swim clinic in Santa Cruz last year with only one sprint triathlon under my belt. I saw these people pulling their wetsuits on and I asked them if they were there for the swim clinic.

“No,” one of them said. “We are training for Big Kahuna”

I was in awe. I knew that was something I could never do.

And you know what? Sometimes if feels pretty awesome to prove yourself wrong.

Frugality Beats Sanity.

Yesterday morning at 6:10 a.m. I was in San Francisco on a cable car barefoot in a wetsuit. Fortunately, I was not alone.

Six weeks ago, I signed up for the Alcatraz challenge and the day had finally come to do it. I got the idea from my friend LaRee who sent me the link for the race with the message: "We should do this."

I briefly skimmed the race web-page and thought, "Well, that will be after Barb's half-ironman, so I will probably want to do another event. And really, how difficult could a 1.5 mile swim in the bay be?"

As I started the registration process on Athletes Lounge, it did seem funny that I had to initial three disclaimers. Usually, most races have the whole "don't sue us if you die" or " no refund" disclaimer, but this one discussed bridges and other crazy things. I just shrugged and typed in the "JM" and quickly e-mailed my friend I signed up.

It wasn't until I started telling people about this swim and listened to their responses that the actuality of this event sunk in.

Here are what the basic responses were:

"What?"
"Seriously?"
"Why would you do that?"
"Brrrr."

These responses struck me as odd because when I told the same people I was doing a half-ironman they kind of shrugged their shoulders. I mean, this was JUST a swim.

I blame my naivete on not knowing anything (except for the whole island prison thing) about Alcatraz. I have never even done the tourist audio tour of the island. This race was not on my "to-do" list of athletic events. Marathon in another country? Perhaps. Swim in the bay? To quote Bart and Lisa Simpson: "Meh."

My biggest concern before the challenge was, "Can I do this?" Of course, under usual conditions I can swim 1.5 miles in a pool, but this time was different. My shoulder was still not feeling 100% better since my bike crash at Barb's. Last Wednesday I finally got in the pool after almost 3 water-free (except for showers) weeks. I felt ok. Plus, I already forked over the $100 to participate, Frugality beats sanity. The race was on.

So, that is how I found myself riding public transportation in a wetsuit. Me, and a bunch of other people took a ferry a few hundred yards from Alcatraz to do this crazy swim. It still seems crazy to me. I mean, I literally jumped out of a ferry and swam to the Presidio. Me. I don't usually do crazy things like that.

The swim kicked my booty. I have no idea how far I swam because there is kind of a crazy current in the Bay. The race director said it was a 1.5-1.8 mile race. I was definitely unprepared for the crazy waves slapping my body every few seconds. Plus, the participants were pretty spread out so there were times when I was swimming by myself. There were also time where I didn't see anyone behind me and I thought, "Am I going to be the last person out of the water." I swallowed my pride and reasoned, "Well someone has to be last. Maybe I will even get a cool prize." Honestly, I just wanted to finish this beat.

And I did. And I was 42 out of 56 in my age group. I jumped off a ferry in the San Francisco Bay and swam to shore in an hour and 6 minutes.

And you know what? That is kind of cool.

It was cool because I was still smarting from my Barb's race DNF and in the back of my head I worried that I was on this bad karmic train and would never finish a race again.

But the good news is-my spirit is back and I even signed up for another half iron-man in 2 weeks. I may be a little out of shape due to lack of training since my accident, but I feel in my bones that I can finish a half-ironman. Even if it means perhaps coming in last.









"

I wonder...

If I will be healed in time for the Alcatraz Challenge on August 23. And also, can sharks smell fear?