WHOA NELLY!

Um, did my 2012 events just, like, double in size in the blink of an eye?

Um, am I addicted to Active.com?

Um, have I not learned ANYTHING from the past three years?

The answer to these questions is yes, yes, no.

While I did register for quite a few events, these events are ALL training related for Death Ride. Century rides are great for my training because I get the mileage and elevation (for the most part) and they are supported so I can refuel at rest stops.

The triathlon in June? What can I say, old habits die hard.

So the training...it's going. Right now it is all about getting back in the saddle. Hubby bought this way futuristic computer bike trainer thingy (don't you just love how techy I sound). I finally tried it last Sunday. It is crazy. The trainer is connected to a computer and you can download routes from the computer and from rides you did outside with your GPS. The first time I watched Hubby do it he downloaded a route from a ride in Italy. Not only did it mimic the ascent and descent of the ride, the screen (we have it hooked up to our TV) shows a simulation of the route so you are riding with cars and going past the ocean. I was yelling at him, "Watch out for that pedestrian! Don't go over that cliff!"

Anyways, for my first ride I did a 12 mile route from a ride my husband did in the real outdoors: from our house to Mt. Eden. It was pretty cool because the screen showed where you were riding in Google maps. It was pretty close to the route except I think the GPS got confused at intersections because the trainer went on a major incline at some intersections. Like, 10%! I got a lit bored looking at the google maps, so switched over to The Devil Wears Prada. The downside to that is the hills are a bit of a surprise.

I tried to do it again today on my lunchtime ride, and forgot all the instructions hubby gave me. The trainer is a Dutch product and is not super user friendly (especially for a non-techy like me!). Finally I gave up and just got on and did my usual interval workout. (side note: hubby just came home and I told him my issues. He said, "Maybe because you were using the keyboard that controls TIVO. Not the keyboard hooked up to the computer hooked up to the trainer." Seriously? Two keyboards? I think he makes things super technical and difficult to mess with my head. Can't there just be ONE button that works WHEN I want it?)

I am also trying to figure out how to mix in swimming and running with all this biking because I think the cross training will be good for my sanity and overall fitness. Which means it is good timing because Team Mermaid is starting its season on Tuesday. I am pretty excited because I am ready for Coach Heidi to be the boss of me and help me on my way to fitness breakthroughs.

Operation Less Jill Up the Hill is going pretty well. I am down two pounds my first week and --more importantly--am really diligent about writing down food consumed. Hubby and I are still on our angry rant about fast food commercials. There was a commercial for Carls Jr's "healthy" turkey burger. Hubby asked me how many points are in that so I looked it up---it would be almost half my points for a day! WHOA NELLY! That is so "healthy" Carl's jr.

The one thing that is a challenge is work. Our volunteers are ALWAYS baking in the house (which is super awesome for the clients we serve), but on the days when I have my laptop set up in the dining room it can be super tough with the smells of brownies wafting in. Here is a conversation I had with one of my volunteers this week:
Volunteer: I am making my Dangerous Dessert?
Me: Dangerous Dessert?
Volunteer: Yup. Its an apple spice cake. And then I poked holes in it. And then I poured caramel sauce over it.
Me: WHOA
Volunteer: and once the caramel sauce soaked into the cake I frosted it with cream cheese frosting.
me: WHOA
Volunteer: and then I topped it with pecans.
Me: WHOA NELLY!

Fortunately, I have had the willpower to be dessert free at work for the past two weeks. Which is pretty amazing considering we have things like Dangerous Desserts lying around.

Are you happy now, Jennifer Hudson?

I am sick, sick, sick, sick. Isn't that just the Murphy's Law of event training? I had a good solid two weeks of working out, using my bike trainer, and even actually paying attention to my heart rate monitor and then last Wednesday morning I was all ACHOO! And I was down for the count.

But I won't whine. Feeling betterish now and, in reality, it is only 5 days of being out of the game. Death Ride is in 6 months. It's all good.

The bigger thing right now is this nutrition thing. I NEED to figure it out. Especially with these long rides that are coming up because I don't want to fall into old habits of having a crazy calorie laden meal and justifying it with a 4 hour bike ride. I flirted with the idea of going paleo, but I knew that realistically the militant rules of paleo would not work for me. A couple weeks ago I was flipping through my magazines and I kept seeing that darn Jennifer Hudson ad for Weight Watchers. After the third spotting of Jennifer in an US weekly, I took it as a sign. I had done WW before and it worked. It worked because I dedicated myself to it. And dedication and awareness to what I eat is definitely what I need to do NOW. Are you happy now, Jennifer Hudson?

So, last Monday I went to my first meeting. That scale...it was not good. The great thing about WW is there is no judgement. I was bracing myself for a "tsk tsk Jill, how did you let THAT happen?" Thankfully they didn't do that. The voices in my head did a little...but I tried to ignore them...

At the meeting the leader asked why I was joining again. I told her that I signed up for a crazy bike ride with crazy hills and I wanted less Jill going up the hills. I think that is my new mantra: LESS JILL UP THE HILL. I am actually pretty excited because the less extra weight I am carrying, the faster and more efficient I may be as a cyclist. This could be THE year where I have a cycling breakthrough.

It was bad timing that I got sick my first week of WW. I opted not to have my preferred snack choice when I am sick (sour patch kids) and dutifully stayed within my daily points range and tried to not be all Debbie Downer because I didn't have the energy to workout.

So, I am one week of doing WW. It's always mind blowing when you start tracking what you eat. I am sure there have been time where I ate all my points in one meal (or one trip to the movies!). It is also helpful that hubby has been watching what he eats as well. He is down 15 pounds because he got a head start on me (JERK! hee hee). It's pretty funny when fast food commercials come on because we both start yelling at the TV ("Curse you McDonald's! Nobody Should be eating that! Nobody!"). Seriously, have you SEEN that Sonic commercial? There is one item that is a bowl of tater tots covered in chili and cheese. SERIOUSLY?

Fortunately there aren't any Sonic's near me...

Thank you Team Mermaid.

I am going to try to keep this one short...and (bitter)sweet.

A big chunk of this blog focuses on this amazing team I am going on my 5th(!) year of being a member: Team Mermaid. And I found it by accident! I had signed up for a 1/2 ironman triathloan and googled "triathlon training san jose Barb's race" and found out about an info night for some group called Team Mermaid. I went to that first meeting just wanting to help me with training for ONE race. And here I am, 4 years later, still inspired by these amazing women who work hard, play hard, and laugh HARDER. Every single woman on this team has drive, spirit, and a good heart. And we all are rallied on by our leader the amazing coach Heidi.

Today a bunch of us from the team met in Capitola for an open water swim...wait, what? A swim? In January? What the heck? But this wasn't any ordinary ocean swim...

Two weeks ago we lost a dear friend and mermaid teammate, Melissa, to ovarian cancer. I am still in shock. She was one of the first on the team, an amazing, funny, smart person and a totally awesome swimmer. We decided as a team to do a memorial swim for her today. We met at some benches at Capitola beach, pulled on our wetsuits, and headed out to the water. It was cold. It was choppy. But we were determined. This was something bigger than us. We didn't go out very far, and we all stopped and Coach Heidi (who was on a surfboard ) said some amazing things about Melissa and passed out carnations for us. A couple other people told some stories and on the count of three we shouted out "Mermaid Melissa!" and threw our carnations out to sea.

And then we were silent.

We stared out at the carnations lapping in the water. Some coming back to us. Some going far out. It was an overcast day with some drizzling rain, the sun barely poking out. I watched the carnations drifting and was taken by the contrast surrounding me: the water may be cold and choppy, but gazing at the neverending sea is so soothing. The softness of the carnations brushing up against seaweed. The heavy silence in the air of our reflections and mourning, mixed with the tranquil sound of waves.

I miss you Melissa. WE miss you Melissa. I am thankful for all the memories I have because we shared some laughs! Seriously, if you can't find laughter while cranking your way through 60 miles on a bike ride, you are doing it wrong. :)

I am thankful to be part of this amazing team, where we take risks continously and encourage one another on. Where we barely bat an eye jumping in the ocean in winter (OK, so we may have shrieked a little, but we still were pretty hardcore!).

Thank you Team Mermaid. You have helped me become the person I am today, and inspire me to grow into the person I will be tomorrow.

The Problem with Pink...

It's 2012 and we still have issues like this. Luckily there is hope for the future with outspoken girls like Riley leading the next wave of feminism.

So, let me start with the LEGO thing. It's kinda messed up, right? One image I saw was a LEGO girl lounging in a pastel pool playset. I guess they have cupcake stores as well. Does LEGO think little girls have aspirations of being real housewives of sugar daddies (pool boy and botox kit sold separately). And cupcake bakeries? Seriously LEGO? Cupcakes are totally 2010. It's all about doughnts now. Or whoopie pies. Get with the times...

In December I was at Barnes and Noble and saw a book called: Princess Recovery: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Daughter Who Can Create Her Own Happily Ever After. Has anyone else noticed how crazy the princess phenomenon is? Seriously, at Halloween I think every single trick or treating girls was some variation of a Disney Princess.

And the really embarassing thing? I LOOOVE all the princess stuff. I love dresses. My bike is pink! I wear sparkle skirts to races. I got excited that Splash was on TV last week. Oh...and don't get me started on The Real Housewives. Oh, and my triathlete nickname is Diva.

WWGSD? (What Would Gloria Steinem Do?)

I have no idea.

There is something weird going on with pop culture right now because there is a lot of cattiness between women (see Top Model, Real Housewives, The Bachelor). Wouldn't it be refreshing if there was a reality show about a group of REAL friends who REALLY liked each other and didn't throw tables at each other AND supported each other in their lives? And wouldn't it be REALLY refreshing if people actually WATCHED the show and it didn't get cancelled after two seasons. Uh, BRAVO, are you taking notes on this?

I would love to tell you that I am going to quit cold turkey watching these shows. But. They. Are. So. Awesome. And I am an adult. I can watch what I want and separate reality from the (hardly) reality TV.

I wish I had something inspirational to say and I could quote a Whitney Houston song (I believe the children are our future...). Perhaps the take-away message is awareness. We need to be aware of the messages we send kids AND the images they are exposed to. So maybe the next time I play Barbies with my niece instead of pretending they are going to a fashion show, maybe they are business partners launching their Etsy store. Or, say my niece gets that LEGO poop party atrocity-- I could say, "Yea! the LEGO girls just finished a triathlon and now they are going to jump in the pool for a recovery ice bath. What was their average heart rate for the race?"

It's a start...

Ch-Ch-Chia!

I did a wee bit of updating on my blog...most notably added all events I will be doing until the Death Ride. It was actually longer than what is posted there. I started getting a little panicky as I added the events and am a little iffy on the non cycling events. What the heck have I gotten myself into? I talked myself out of a couple events. Which, shows some level of growth and maturity on my part, right?

I found a training plan for the Death Ride that is 18 weeks long. As I was scanning it on my laptop I must have had a funny look because hubby said, "What's wrong?"

"Well," I said, "I am reading this training plan...and it just seems weird."
"Why?" He asked.
"Well, it's 18 weeks long. And it has a ride every day. Like, EVERY day."
"And?" He asked.
"Well, that's, like, a lot of riding, right?"
"Let me see that," he said as he grabbed the laptop.

I could feel my palms get all clammy and sweaty. Being on the bike? Every day? 18 weeks? The more I tried to wrap my mind around it the more I felt like my head was going to explode.

He handed me back the laptop, "Seems about right."

"What?! Every day seems crazy. What about rest days?"
"You do have rest days. Those are called 'easy rides'."
I gave him a "whatcha talkin about Willis?" face.
To which he responded, "YOU are the one who signed up for this crazy event."

I read the training plan a little more in depth. The rest days ranged from 0-20 miles, so theoretically I don't have to ride EVERY day. Phew. And the plan doesn't start until I get back from Maui in March. Phew. So I have about 2 months to get my act together.

And my current act? It ain't pretty.

The good news is--I have been on my bike. I did a 40 mile ride last week, and have done a couple short rides and some trainer sessions. I did the bike trainer last night for 50 minutes while watching season 1 of Alias. It. Was. Torture. I am going to trainer again tonight. But with a heart rate monitor so there is less cheating involved.

My running has slowed down a lot. I met some friends for a track workout on Tuesday night. It. Was. Torture. Everything felt tight and flabby---which seems like a contradiction. It was cold and dark and felt so against nature on what we are supposed to do in the winter. But I did it.

The plan until the plan starts is to increase my long bike rides each week by 5 miles. I will start this Sunday with 40. I also really really need to figure out this core thing. Oh, and use my bikram yoga groupon before it expires in March.

I tried this energy drink yesterday that I really like. It had chia seeds and cocounut water in it which are supposed to be great for something. Not sure what. Growing plant hair? Like a Chia pet? So, I think I mat buy the powder (it was a sample I got from a race) and try that on long rides since I am getting a little weirded out by the vibrant colors of gatorade. I think I am also going to look into making my own energy bars.

Hmmm...bikram yoga...chia seeds...homemade energy bars. Should I grow dreadlocks now too?

New Year's Suggestions

Last week one of my friends posted this article on New Year's Resolutions and said it reminded her of me. Sad but true. I make these grandiose declarations about training and goals and overall-awesomeness only to ignore it all and not do my (unrealistic?) training.

So instead of New Year's Resolutions , I will follow the author's lead and write suggestions.
But...first let me preface this by saying this year I signed up for a Big Deal event: The Death Ride. I think a lot of the people in my life may be a wee bit concerned because my previous history of untraining (probably not a word, but who cares) could be downright dangerous for this 120ish mile 15k climbing bike ride. (The elevation chart is posted above...eeek...)

Is it possible to break bad habits? There isn't a super magical formula for this ride---it's really RIDE A LOT. Like, a lot a lot. But I do think putting together New Year's suggestions (NOT resolutions) will help me wrap my head around this beast, a training plan, and how to have a normal life AND be ready for this event in July. Not all the suggestions are Death Ride specific, but they do fit in the bigger picture of why I do these events and my desire to be a stronger person ready to take on the world.

So, here goes:

1. I will work on not talking myself out of things (or into).
Do you ever notice how easy it is to say "no" to things? Like, when my alarm goes off there is a decision involved, "Wake up" or "Snooze." "Snooze" is basically saying no to getting up and getting that early workout in. I go to bed with these high expecations of, "Oh yeah, I totally will wake up tomorrow and run 10 miles before work and make my lunch and make the world a totally peaceful place." But I always end up hitting snooze. So, I will work on NOT snoozing.

Case in point: yesterday my husband suggested we go on a bike ride. I was all set to talk myself out of it. I rationalized that I was tired, I rode 42 miles Friday and had back to back running races on Saturday and Sunday. But then I remembered I really need saddle time. I have a month before my training really begins and the quicker I get used to sitting on a bike saddle on a regular basis, the better.

On the flipside, I will work on not saying "yes" to certain things (like that first, second or third slice of cake).

2. I will work on not going too far in the future
One of my big bad habits is in the middle of my training for an event my mind starts to wander and I start thinking about the next event. This is dangerous territory as it is key to stay focused and keep your eye on the prize. What does this mean? It means try not to think about what the next big thing after Death Ride.

3. I will try to drown out the negative voices---including my own.
The fact is, there will always be someone smarter, prettier, funnier and triathlonier (not a word, but who cares?) than me. Just as it is easy to say "no" to waking up, it's just as easy to hate on myself. I recognize I need to do some serious self-care and I haven't really been super nice to myself. There is a running joke between my friends and I that I don't like my picture taken. And it's sad but true. I haven't taken care of myself as I have in the past and do not want to see the ugly truth as shown on digital images (I am talking to YOU race day photos). But the truth is, does it really matter that I am not a size 2? That I may never break an hour 10k again? Maybe there are people out there who don't think I can pull off this Death Ride or (FILL IN THE BLANKS) thing---but does that really matter? I mean, that is their issue, and I should work on figuring out how not to make it my issue.

I was thinking about this whole "no pictures" thing the other day as I was playing with my 7-year-old niece. What if she heard my inner thoughts on my appearance? What kind of message is that sending her? It would break my heart if she thought about herself that way. Deep down I hope that she sees me doing these events and it makes her have faith in herself, not be afraid to take risks, and know that she is an awesome person. Inside and out.

So, that's it. My big list. Nothing earth shattering or super specific.
I decided to limit it to 3. Three is a magic number. Anything past that can get overwhelming and then it is much much easier to just say no to everything.

The fact of the matter is, it's going to be hard. Life is hard. But pushing through the challenges (the ones you take on and the ones that are thrown in your face) is really where all the self-growth stuff comes from.



So...let's do this 2012...

A Slacker Triathlete's Christmas Carol

We are getting close to the end of the year which means top 10 lists, New year’s Resolutions, overindulging and all that jazz. Because I am feeling the holiday spirit, I thought I would take a stab at writing a Holiday-themed post. And I present to you:

A Slacker Triathlete’s Christmas Carol.

We start our story with a (not so) young lady named Ji---er… let’s call her Diva. Diva had a case of the Scrooges this year. She had a pretty blah racing season despite finishing her second half-ironman and completing a 3.6 mile swim race. She had almost had a panic attack in an ocean swim in March, barely rode her cute pink bike, and discovered how totally unbendy she was by taking yoga. She didn’t feel like she was getting faster or stronger even though she placed in a couple races (it helped there were only 2-3 people in her age group for those races). Something was missing this year. And there was a dark cloud ominously hanging over her head in the ominous way dark clouds can hang.

Her friends tried to cheer her up by inviting her to ocean swims to which she would reply “Bah humsharks! Bah cold water!” and then do her best imitation of a 15-year-old boy by eating junk food and playing video games all day when she should be working out.

On a particularly dark and late night on the eve eve eve of Christmas she took a break from the Legend of Zelda and checked her e-mail, mainly to give her Wii-ed out hands some rest. She was visited by the Ghost of Slacker Triathlete’s Past. This being 2011, ghosts are way high tech and now can communicate via e-mail, Facebook and Twitter. She clicked “open” on the e-mail (cue scary music):

“Hey Ji---oops I mean, Diva,

Remember the Long Course?

We just wanted to drop you a note and let you know that the AVIA Wildflower Triathlon is turning 30. Mark your calendar and plan your training accordingly. We invite you to revisit your favorite course, connect with old friends and remember why Wildflower is known as “The One and Only.”

Diva shuddered at the memory of this race that was one of her biggest race failures, not to mention a totally disgusting sunburn. This was the 2^nd time Diva did not finish a ½ ironman and the first time she cried at a race (and these were soul shaking tears, not tears of joy). Why did she sign up for that race? Why didn’t she train? What happened to the Diva-dominator from 2008 who finished strong and, well finished PERIOD? What had she become?

The Ghost of Slacker Triathlete’s Past sent her an IM (remember, they are totally hooked into the technology. That way they can haunt multiple people a night. In these challenging economic times, ghosts have to be as efficient as possible otherwise they risk being replaced by a younger faster ghost.) that read:

“Learn from this DNF. You need to train. Consistently. And ride your bike more. Like, a lot more. Or you will repeat this failure again…and again…and again. TTYL.”

Diva was scared. So scared it took her an hour to recover and get back to her Zelda game. Diva was no dummy, she knew the Ghost of Slacker Triathlete’s Present was going to make a cameo appearance…it was just a matter of when.

She went to bed. She was in a deep sleep dreaming wonderful dreams when she was violently woken up by a needle being jammed in her brow.

“OWWWW!” Diva screamed, “What the---?”

The moonlight was poking through her window casting a light on some unrecognizable figure.

“Who are you? “ She asked “Are you a ghost?” She observed the expensive highlighted blonde hair and strangely bloated and contorted face, “You look…kind of human.”

The figure spoke, “Oh, I was a human. And then I sold my soul to be on the Real Housewives…can you hold still so I can finish up this Botox?”

Diva jerked back. “No thanks! I will pass on the botchilism tonight. But why are you here? I was expecting , you know, a ghost of the present yadda yadda…”

The Housewife rolled her eyes, or at least did her best to roll her eyes through facial paralysis. “Duh, that’s why I am here.”

“Oh my gawd,” Diva gasped. “Am I going to be a Real Housewife? I really don’t think hair extensions would work on me…and I can’t have a teeny dog. I am a cat person.”

“Shut your mouth. Sheesh. Like Bravo would ever take YOU. I am here to show you what your present has been: watching reruns of the Real Housewives or playing video games when you really should be thinking about your training plans and um….when was the last time you worked that core?”

“In my defense,” Diva said, “I don’t watch the Atlanta Housewives.”

“Whatever. Listen, I love it that you are like totally addicted to us, because I mean seriously, look at me. I am amazing. But if you want to have a good racing year at least get on the bike trainer while you watch or watch AFTER you workout. And brush your teeth before so you aren’t tempted for late night snacking. Ok?”

Diva shook her head “yes.”

“Awesome,” said the housewife, “I gotta jam now. I gotta go throw a table at someone or buy $25,000 sunglasses or try and get my own series. I can’t remember which one---too many SkinnyGirl cosmos I guess.”

“Before you go,” Diva pleaded, “Can you tell me how scary the Ghost of Slacker Triathlete Future is.”

“Oh yeah,” The Housewife said. “Him. Apparently future ghosts are super expensive so they tried outsourcing them but I guess there were lots of complaints because it just wasn’t the same. People would get all freaked out seeing their futures and it didn’t help having someone on the phone reading a script saying things like, “it sounds like you are scared. I do not know how to process this. Let me escalate that. For reference your job ticket number for this call is ‘42178 This ticket is now closed.”

“So, no ghost?”

“Nah, the CEO decided that in this day and age people can and should figure out their future themselves. OK…I am super bored now. Later.”

And poof! The spirit was gone leaving only a mist of airbrush tanning solution falling in droplets to the ground.

The next day Diva woke up, still freaked out by the siliconed encounter from the night before. Though the Housewife was vapid, mean, and maybe a little drunk, something she said resonated with Diva:

“In this day and age people can and should figure out their future themselves.”

Diva thought about this. She could either relive the past, train sporadically, and have horrible races OR she could figure out how to get back on track. Perhaps she could find her drive and motivation again and having a successful race.

So…Diva wil figure out all that stuff…just not now…AFTER the holidays…