Tuesday, March 27, 2012

"A" is for Attitude

I posted this on my Facebook last week:

"There is one thing in life you have absolute control over: Your attitude." Joyce Schafer

And I am making it my official mantra.

And you know what I have discovered about attitudes? Having a bad attitude is kind of like taking the easy way out. It's super easy to be bummed about work, family, personal goals, weight, appearance. I have found when I have a bad attitude I am almost giving myself permission to give up. I can have a bad attitude about not ever being a size 2, and then give myself permission to eat a (box) cookie.

Having a good attitude does take work. Like right now I am looking outside waiting for the rain. If it rains, that means I can't workout with my team. In the past I would get frustrated because I want to know what I will be doing workout wise. Now, I have a plan B. I will hop on the bike trainer. I will work out. It will happen.

Or how about not being able to work out for two weeks because of the stitches? So, I gained 3/4 of a pound. Eh, life happens. And sure enough I was back to running last week and lost that 3/4. Sure it wasn't an epic big loser loss, but I still feel GOOD.

So, it's really about reframing things. And let me tell you---it feels fantastic! It feels authentic. I feel like I am consistently in a good mood. The past year has had some ups and downs in hubby's and my life, and these are things we cannot control. And having this good attitude has made me really appreciate him and our relationship. Because the truth is, sh** happens. Not everyone is going to like me or be happy with me, or agree with my decisions. Not every race will be an A race. There will be disappointment. I can't control this. I CAN control my attitude.

I hope this hasn't made you yack on your laptop. I am hardly a saint and a bad attitude pops up every (day) once in awhile when some idiot driver does something idiotic. Or someone is crowding me in line at Whole Foods. Or when bachelor ben chose Courtney.

So, I am prepping myself for Cinderella bike ride this weekend. Sure I haven't ridden much in the past 3 weeks. Sure it may be storm-ageddon. But, as Seattle to Portland has taught me, I CAN suffer on a bike. Plus, I have a bunch of friends doing the ride AND I think pink bike will get TONS of props on the ride.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

In Other News...

The stitches came out Tuesday. I asked my doctor if I can work out.

He said in a gruff voice, "NO. NOT FOR A WEEK."

And I swear I heard my stomach grumble with hunger.

The night before I had my first weight watchers meeting in two weeks and guess what---a 5 pound loss! The grand total in Less Jill Up the Hill? 14.8!

Yesterday I scanned my closet and took out a pair of Ann Taylor capris bought online a year ago in a denial shopping moment. What is a denial shopping moment? It is when you buy clothes in a size you once were and haven't quite come to terms with the fact you aren't that size any longer, When the pants arrived, I could barely button them and could definitely not zip up.

And yesterday? They zipped up! I squealed with amazement. You gotta love shopping in your closet. I do have a ways to go still, but it is fun to have concrete non-number-on-the-scale results. I am wearing another pair of Ann Taylor denial pants today and they are a wee bit snug--especially sitting. Luckily I have a loose fitting top on to conceal muffin-toppedness (probably not a word). I asked Hubby about these pants today and he let out a disinterested morning sigh, "Meh. Those are fine."

For some reason, he doesn't get fired up discussing black pants. Go figure.

So anyways, trying not to panic about the no exercise thing. It's only two weeks. I will have to push myself more when I am back to training to make up for lost time. And it is a little frustrating not getting activity points, but again, IT'S JUST TWO WEEKS.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

"I Don't Want to be THAT Girl."

Not quite sure how to start this post...

How about:
"I need a vacation from my vacation."
or:

"Look before you Leap."

The story begins about a year ago when some friends and I swam around the wharf in Santa Cruz. This was a particularly memorable swim because it was the first time I almost had a panic attack in the water. The combination of the cold water, constriction of the wetsuit, and my fear of sharkies took over my breathing. I was just around the wharf and could not catch my breath. The shore looked so far away. My friends helped me out tremendously and told me to relax and that everything was going to be fine. From that swim on anytime I was in the ocean in a wetsuit I had this unsettling feeling that a panic attack was ready to bubble to the surface.

The crazy thing is---I LOVE the ocean. Hubby and I did two tropical vacations last year and he nicknamed me "Labrador" because I kept wanting to jump in the water--particularly on our trip to Maui last year. I loved the warm water, seeing the fish under me, and NOT wearing a wetsuit. For some reason I can't get that feeling swimming in the ocean here.

So, of course I was super excited to go on another Maui trip this year. The plan was to spend 3 days on the Makena/Wailea side with my good friend Diane and then head over to the Kaanapali side for 3 days and stay with my parents. For the past month Diane and I were going crazy with anticipation on this trip. We left last Friday.

I knew I wanted this to be an active trip. Swim, bike, run...maybe some core? So, I rented a Specialized bike for the week. Friday late afternoon after we checked into our hotel we went to the beach and splashed around. Makena Beach is awesome and not as congested as the other side of the island. We woke up super early Saturday morning. Poor Diane got to see my not-so-sunny morning disposition. I kept getting woken up by her phone getting emails (BING! BING!). I looked over at the window and it was pitch black. I had no idea what time it was and was super grouchy. (Hubby can attest to my b**y morning mood). Her phone BINGed again and I looked over at her in her bed and said:
"THAT needs to be turned DOWN."

Not my best moment.

I then rolled over looked at the clock and saw that it was 5:55 am. Hmmm...might as well wake up. I got up made some coffee and cheerfully asked Diane, "Cream and sugar?"
She gave me a "WTH?" look and was confused by the switch from grouch to ms. mary sunshine.

I said in a sing song voice, "Get up and let's go run!"

Another "WTH" face from Diane.

We put on our running clothes and stopped by the front desk to find a running route. We decided to run down the road to Big Beach. It was a little over a mile there, mostly running on the road.

We found the entrance to Big Beach and met an interesting hippie boy who had his camper set up in the parking lot. There were some roosters in the parking lot and he said they were his pets.

Okay...

We headed to the beach. The sun was rising and the water looked amazing. I said, "Let's jump in!" Diane, who was only used to "fear of ocean Jill", was confused. But we took off our running shoes and jumped in. The water was brisk and amazing! We stared at the ocean in front of us amazed by the beauty of everything. And then we saw it.

Way in the distance a whale breached. It was amazing. We kept scanning the ocean to find it. It was our first full day in Maui and we already saw a whale!

We ran back to the hotel and put our swimsuits on under our clothes and headed to breakfast. It was awesome that we had a buffet breakfast included in our hotel and the breakfast had an assortment of great foods. I had fresh fruit, srambled eggs and yogurt everyday. I wasn't sure if I would log weight watchers on my trip and knew that making sensible choices was key. And staying active.

After breakfast we headed to the beach at our hotel. We sunscreened up and I put on my cap and goggles. We wanted to get an open water swim in. I told Diane, "We will swim along the beach, right?"
She looked at the ocean and said, "Let's swim to that buoy."

The buoy looked way far away.

"WHAT?" I said, "No, we agreed we would swim along the shore." It looked way scary going that far out with just the two of us. She asked one of the employees how far the buoy was and he said a 1/4 mile. We jumped in and Diane said, "Come on. Let's go. You need to get over your fear."

I took a deep breath and started swimming. I could feel the nerves in my stomach. I tried to keep my cool. A boat stopped near the buoy and we realized it was a snokreling excursion. It calmed me down knowing there were other people in the water. We made it to the buoy and swam a little more. We started swimming south and I showed Diane how many sommersaults in a row I could do in the water. We heard a loud blowing noise and both said, "what the heck?" We looked over at where it came from and saw a boat where we were just swimming. Oh, we thought to ourselves, it was just the boat.

And then this HUGE whale came out of the water. WHERE WE WERE JUST SWIMMING.

We both screamed (her with delight, me with a little fear). I was gradually treading myself back toward shore and we watched the whale swim past us. Another one popped up with it.

It was...INCREDIBLE.

We went back to shore and 3 people approached us asking us if we were the people swimming with the whale. From shore it must have looked like the whale was 10 feet from us.

We totally felt like a big deal for the rest of the day.

After the swim I put my bike clothes on so I could take a quick spin on the bike and get used to it. I rode to Kihei. It was so nice riding in the sun again. I passed a restaurant recommended to us by the hotel staff and made note of its location. I looked at my watch and decided it would be a good time to turn around. I stopped at a Hawaiian Ice stand and had a delicious Lychee Ice. So refreshing! The specialized was a great ride and it was fun to do a jumbled up triathlon that day. Ran 2 1/2 miles, swam 45 minutes, ride 12 miles. Whoo hoo!

We had a delicious dinner at Cafe Au Lei in Kihei. Diane got an email from an open water swim group we had found online that meets Sunday mornings at the hotel we were staying at. At that point we weren't sure if we were going to join them. We didn't know where they swam, what their pace was. The next morning after breakfast we decided we would join them. We scanned the beach trying to find the group and then saw a bunch of people putting swim caps on. We made our way over to them. Diane looked at me and said, "Do they have fins?"

I looked closer. "yeah, they all have fins. That's weird."

So we swam with the group and we were the only two fools that didn't have fins on. The leader of the group said there are different options to swim too. We went out toward the buoy and then swam along the shore south. Diane just bought an underwater camera and we played around taking underwater shots. We saw fishies and turtles. A nice woman swam with us since everyone else was way ahead (again---I blame the lack of fins). One guy said, "Brrr it's so cold." We laughed and said the water was amazing. They were way impressed that we swam in the Bay Area. Well, DIANE swims in the Bay Area.

We hit the turn around spot and someone (with FINS) said, "Wow, you guys made it here." Uh, yeah, because we are ROCK STARS. Then we heard the faster group saw a shark.

Uh, SAY WHAT?

Ever since I saw Jaws when I was 22 I have a major fear of sharks. Stupid Steven Spielberg.

"Oh yeah, " a woman said as we were treading water, "There is one shark we see around here. We call him Bruce."

Diane looked at me. I took a deep breath.

"Bruce, wow." I said.

Ok, time to head back. I did not want a formal introduction to Bruce.

The swim back was tough and the current was really choppy. We finally made it back to shore.

We were swimming for about 2 hours and were pooped. It was awesome though to feel strong to do a long swim so early in the season.

We plopped into our beach chairs and passed out on the beach. We totally earned the cabana massages we booked for that afternoon!

Another delicious dinner and we passed out watching Celebrity Apprentice. An alarm sound woke us up and we realized it was the 10 o'clock news and they were running emergency broadcasts on flash flood warnings on Oahu.

We woke up the next morning ready to start the next part of the trip. Our bags were packed. Diane was doing a whale watching kayak tour and I was riding my bike 35 miles to the condo my parents were staying at in Kaanapali. Diane was staying in the same condo complex and would drive the luggage up. I was a little nervous riding by myself mainly because it was unfamiliar rodes. We ate our last yummy breakfast at the hotel and I headed out on my bike. The first 20 miles were amazing. I was smiling the whole time looking at the amazing ocean to the left of me.

And then the rain started. And it POURED. I was laughing at myself riding my bike in Maui totally soaked. I had packed a swimsuit and coverup in the backpocket of my jersey to wear when I got there and they were soaked. I made it to my parents condo and was a dirty soggy mess. The ride was great though. It was an AMAZING way to see the island.

My parents and I went to lunch and then Diane texted me to let her know she made it to her condo. The four of us headed to Napili Point which is my parents favorite place to snorkel.

The water was too choppy to snorkel and Diane and I played in the water a little. Another great Maui day.

Tuesday morning I headed to Diane's (OCEAN FRONT!) condo for some coffee and we drove over to Whalers village for a run. We ran two miles and did some core. The water was very choppy and the red flags were up. We saw surfers and then saw an arm come out of the water.

"Is that a swimmer?' I asked Diane.

It was. Whoa. We both remarked upon his stroke and said he was a good swimmer. You could tell he was working hard in that choppy water. We chatted with him when he got out and he said it was a challenging swim. And he was a way experienced swimmer.

Now, dear reader, in the literary world they would call this foreshadowing.

After breakfast at my parents condo Diane and I decided to drive around to find beaches to swim in. We went up to Honolua Bay. It is a great snorkeling area but is a little tough to get in because of the rocks. The water was choppy and no one was getting in. We decided to head back to Napili.

Ok, so I want to put a warning out to you if you are reading this. If you have open water fears, you may not want to read further...or maybe you should.

So, we went to napili. The red flags were up (which basically means, "this water is dangerous, don't be an idiot and get in."). I put my goggles on and jumped in.

Oh, wait, I forgot to mention the conversation Diane and I had earlier that morning. She, having way more knowledge of ocean, currents, etc (she swam alcatraz 4 times last year. rock star.) was also wrapping her mind around this new open water loving Jill. She said, 'If you get caught up in the current I won't save you because then we will both be caught up. I don't think I am strong enough for that." I laughed it off. "What makes you think I am the one needing saving?" She said, "Because you have just been jumping in the water without abandon." I rolled my eyes thinking, "Whatever."

Again. Foreshadowing.

So, back to Napili. I jumped in the water and Diane was still on shore. She said she wasn't going in. Fine, I will just splash around. I did a few strokes out and swam around. I looked up and saw Diane on the shore looking at me. I splashed around more and decided to head back. The shore seemed close enough. I did a couple strokes. Hmmm...not really moving anywhere. Did more strokes. This is interesting. How come this is taking so long?

And then time stopped.

I kept swimming and swimming and it just seemed hard. The waves were strong and would take me towards shore and then suck me back in. It still didn't hit me what was going on until I looked at the shore and saw people lining up watching me. It felt like 40 people were watching me. Someone on a megaphone was yelling at me to swim along the shoreline. I tried doing that. Not quite working. Then they started running the other way to a rocky area north of me. They told me to swim to the rocks. I swam towards the rocks thinking at this point they would get me out. A hotel employee threw a lifesaver at me. I was bouncing around near the rocks at this point and said, "Can't I get out?" There were so many people staring at me. I saw Diane and the look of worry on her face and felt horrible for making her worry. They told me it was too dangerous at the rocks and I had to swim back out.

Um, Say what? I have to go back OUT there?

The current took me out and I carefully moved my body around so my head and back wouldn't hit the rocks.

My legs hit the rocks. Ouch.

At this point I was out in the ocean with my arm wrapped around the lifesaver. I looked out at the shore and the rocks. So many people watching me (did I mention when I was at the rocks I saw someone from above filming me on their iphone? Nice.). My only thought at that point was, 'I don't want to be THAT girl. That stupid tourist who swam when it was dangerous." In the back of my head I knew this was serious. I also knew what it felt like to have panic attacks in the water and I knew that if that happened, I could be a gonner. So, I just concentrated on staying calm. Just keep swimming. It was frustrating to put my everything in my stroke and to literally stay in the same place. I kept looking at the shore and thinking:

"No. Not today."

Then I heard sirens and thought to myself, "Hmmmm...I hope that is for me."

Then out of nowhere a Jet Ski came to me. He told me to climb on and he took me to shore. I was so thankful at that point. He dropped me off close to shore and I made my way to the sand. Apparently he left me there so he could go pick up the two lifeguards who went out to save me. The EMTs checked me out. I finally found Diane and she had a look that was a mix of "THANK GOD and I AM SO (EXPLETIVE) PISSED AT YOU." (I rarely use salty language in this blog and figured this is a time that merits it.)

They took my vitals. And said my heart rate was a little high (duh, I was kinda swimming a lot). Then they saw the blood on my ankle. they cleaned it up and asked me to stand up.

"Oh yeah, she has a big cut there."

"On my BUTT?" I said, "IS MY BUTT CUT UP?"

The emt and lifeguards surrounded me to look at the owie. This must be my punishment for swimming in the red flags. 4 cute 20-something lifeguards and emts inspecting my bloody butt. Great.

They put bandages on me and said it would be best to get checked out by a doctor.

I was still in shock on the drive over. I aplogized profusely to Diane and called my coach and sister. A knot formed in my stomach since I knew I would have to tell my parents.

We went to a doctor's office at Whalers Village and coped by making jokes. "Text Heather and ask how many weight watchers activity points are in almost drowning." The nurse took me to a room and I saw a scale, "Well, this is good since I missed my weigh in at Weight Watchers yesterday."

Long story short: 6 stitches on my bootie. Diane and I walked over to a restaurant and we ordered happy hour drinks. Lots of them. I started crying in my mangotini. It felt surreal what happened. It still feels surreal.

At this point it was pouring and we walked around the shops in whalers village. I popped into this cute boutique and a spacy storegirl asked how I was. I said,"GLAD TO BE ALIVE." and then I gave her a short version of the adventure. "WOWWWW," she said and she stared at me. I thought she was taking in the story, that I was fighting for my life. And then she said, "Are your eyes two different colors?"

Wait...what?

"Uh, yeah, "I said.

"Oh my GAWD, " she squealed. "I ALWAYS WANTED MY EYES TO BE TWO DIFFERENT COLORS."

Right. I gave Diane a look that said, "Let's get the hell out of here."

We headed back to my parents condo and we broke the news to them. It was so great to be with them and I cried a couple more times that night. I called Hubby and told him the story. He was pretty calm and said, "Well, we both do crazy things sometimes." I think he was trying to downplay it so I wouldn't go crazy and say "You are NOT riding your motorcycle to Alaska in June!"

So, I am back in the Bay Area. The bruises have started popping up now and the whole "I feel like I got hit by a bus" feeling now makes sense.

I did learn a couple things:
1) DON'T SWIM WHEN RED FLAGS ARE UP.
2) Don't Panic.
3) What I did was selfish. I jumped in without thinking. There was a whole beach of people (including one of my good friends) who was worried sick about my safety. And it was all because I wanted a little splish splash time.
4) DON'T be scared of sharks. Be wary of the tide. Be respectful of the ocean. She is powerful and amazing and much stronger than you.
5) Have faith in the stregth of not only your body but also your mind. Fortunately, knowing how to swim worked in my favor. But not PANICKING saved me as well.
6) Be thankful for those who saved you. My friend Diane insisted that they get help for me. She is amazing. That jet ski was probably the best thing I had ever seen.
and finally
7) DON'T SWIM WHEN THE *&%#@ing RED FLAGS ARE UP!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Triathlons are kinda hard...

Right?

It's funny...no matter what distance of a triathlon or if its a new one or a course I have done billions of times, I always block out that it's kind of a tough sport.

On Sunday I did a super mini-triathlon which was a 400 yard swim, 6 miles on a stationary bike, and a 1.5 mile run. Easy peezy lemon squeezy, right?

Right?

Um, wrong. So wrong.

Swimming THEN biking THEN runnning is just not a natural thing to do. It just isn't.

Which is probably why it is so dang addictive.

So, I signed up for this race with my buddy Diane as kind of a "hey this could be fun and cake, right?" Nevermind that I rode 41 miles the day before. Or that I had only swam 2 times so far in 2012. And I had a slow 10k a couple weeks ago.

The swim part was ok. It was weird doing a race in a pool because I was having flashbacks to being on the swim team as a kid and being the slowest in the pool. I wish I could tell you that this underdog perseveared and schooled the other swimmers, but nope. I am still on the slower side of the swim spectrum.

The bike was ok. Well, actually it wasn't. Of course, I have been (or rather I have FELT like) riding tons this year so I was totally thinking I would dominate the bike. Doing a tri on a stationary bike is...kind of boring...Oh, and a couple minutes in I realized my seat was dropping. I got off my bike, raised it and tried it again. A couple minutes later it happened again...and again...the race officials tried to help, but it was just not happening. It was so frustrating. I had to fix it SEVEN times. And then the photographer came to take pictures of us on our bikes and I told him, "That one DOES NOT go on facebook." That angle encased in triathlon clothes...it is not the greatest.

The run was...ok. Going from bike to run always seems to be a shocker. And my legs were a little fatigued from the ride the day before. Oh, and I was still flustered from bike malfunction.

The take home lesson of the event: tris are hard. So, I have resolved to only do ONE tri before Death Ride. I need to focus on the bike, and I do think that even the small tris are a little disruptive to my training. Also, there is an element of stress involved (race logisitics, parking, bib numbers, nutrition, transition set up), which probably isn't worth it because I have a feeling that in 2 months I may start getting a little loco from Death Ride anticipation.

LESS JILL UP THE HILL UPDATE: down .8 pounds to a grand total of 9.2. Seems small compared to last week's 2.4, but at least it is in the right direction. Oh, and take home lesson is don't have Hot Pot the day before weigh in as there may be some major water retention.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Ouchies, nutrition, core and other "aha" moments...






The picture of my cat, Lily, on the upper left is a reminder that I need to get back to yoga...and just stretch in general. Because I have some ouchies.

I went to a massage therapist on Sunday and she gave me a nice torture session. Basically I have tight IT bands, a knotty piriaformis, tight achilles, tight shoulders. Just tight, tight, tight. I am tensing up just writing this. So, I will go back to my gym and get all namaste. Tomorrow!

I have officially completed 4 weeks on weight watchers and am 8.4 pounds down. The tricky thing for me was nutrtion while working out. I did a 50 mile bike ride on Saturday and discovered that 6 whole wheat fig newtons, a ziplock bag of apple chips, two waters and half a diet coke can get me through 50 miles. I recovered with a no sugar added carnation instant breakfast and a banana. This is HUGE progress for me because my bad habit was having a big old food party after a long workout because , hey, I EARNED it.

I am also two for two on not missing a Thursday morning Mermaid workout. Again, this is huge for me because I hate waking up before 6 AND I really need to work my core.

Biking is going well-ish. My 50 miler felt ok. I felt better on the big hill than I have in awhile, but 50 miles still feels like a long way to bike. And it is crazy to think that before I know it, a 50 miler will be a short ride.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Just Because Your Plate is Full, Doesn't Mean You Have to Eat it All

The title of this post is fitting for me for two reasons.

The most obvious reason is this whole Weight Watchers thing. I spent this past weekend in San Diego because Mermaids had a race there. It was a fun weekend, though I did have the challenge of eating out for most of the time. It is doable, and I can enjoy the food without devouring the WHOLE plate. I mean, seriously, restaurant portions can be out of control.

The other reason is I think I may have overextended myself. I am really getting into the swing of things with training, have a busy work schedule, and am planning a trip in March. I also signed up for my favorite Improv class again, but realized when I got home from San Diego yesterday that I was officially spent. I made the decision to not continue with it this round. Maybe once Death Ride stuff is over I will have less items on my plate.

This was a tough decision for me, because I LOOOVE the improv and I always want to do EVERYTHING. But, I also know where my priorities are right now.

My race on Saturday was ok. On the slow slide, but I am not in run mode right now. I am in, "Let's use running as cross training."

Starting on week 4 of Weight Watchers. Noticing a little bit of a difference. I was able to zip up a pair of shorts from a few years ago, though they are giving me a reverse muffin top so not quite ready. Hopefully by summer.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Mini Victories

RESULTS!
IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION!
NOW!
GO BIG OR GO HOME!

Sometimes I get stuck in this mindset: I decide to do something, and I want it happen ASAP. Be it signing up for a 1/2 marathon and hoping for a sub 2 hour time, or wanting to lose X amount of pounds. There is a lot of time, hardwork and dedication involves in those things, but I want it NOW.

Which is not the best way to look at the world, right?

I signed up for this Death Ride thing knowing that I need to put the time in and there will be a lot of steps to get to the point of doing this event in 6 months. Time on bike. Core. Cross training. Rest days. Hill repeats. Balancing the rest of my life and sanity.

So, I am really focusing on the RIGHT NOW and the mini victories.

Saturday was DEFINITELY a mini victory kind of day. A couple friends and I planned a bike ride in Pleasanton. My friend Gina sent us the route the day before, and I (of course) kind of glazed over it. We started our ride at 7:20ish am. The route caught part of the Cinderella ride I will be doing in March. Gina said there would be a couple climbs--most significantly a 7% grade. We hit the first hill and that felt great. Then we hit a stop sign and Gina said we were to go right. Then it dawned on me.
"Are we doing the Challenge hill?"
Gina said, "I think so."

Hmmm...the "challenge" hill is an option for the cinderella ride if you want to add mileage and hills. I did the Challenge two years ago. It was HARD. I signed up for the Challenge this year and was already having anxiety about climbing it at the end of March. And now, we are doing it today? Whoa.

So, I did it...and I think it felt better than 2 years ago! And it's early February! Mini victory----time on the bike trainer, having quality workouts is actually working! Who woulda thunk it?

Another mini victory? Having breakfast after this 50 mile bike ride and not eating my weight in pancakes,eggs, toast, hashbrowns....fill in the carb here. Sometimes I get in the mindset of "Well, I deserve this big old plate of food because I ran/biked/swam/took out the garbage."

Another mini victory? Weigh in was last night. Down 2.6 pounds...Less Jill Up the Hill is on track.

The last mini victory is I finally used my bikram groupon yesterday! Mystery of bikram is dispelled. Not sure it is for me---I kinda prefer the more warm fuzzy gentle yoga and all the sweat in the room was kinda gross.

But I didn't feel like I got hit by a truck this morning, which is ALWAYS a mini victory.