We're on a Road to Nowehere

Below is an excerpt from an e-mail exchange between me and my coach:

To: coach@getoffthecouch.com
from: Jill@slacker.com

Hi Coach, Thanks for the workout yesterday and the wildflower peptalk/scared straight talk. :) So, I am going back and forth on Cinderella. To challenge or not to challenge? At first I wasn't going to do the challenge, but now I may do it. But then I read blogs about Patterson Pass being super crazy and now I just don't know. so, 65 miles or 95 miles with crazy hills. What do you think? -Jill

To: jill@slacker.com
From: Coach@getoffthecouch.com
Do the challenge. Pretend you are at the gnarly wildflower hill and practice what you will say to yourself
-coach

(um...I kinda know what I will say to myself...and they are not fit to post in a family friendly blog)

So, yeah, I did the Cinderella Challenge. 87 miles on the bike with wind and nasty climbs. Honestly, not to sound like a jerk, but this is my third year doing this and I just wanna lecture the newbies who do not know the rules of the road. If you are slowing use a the correct gesture or announce it BECAUSE I CAN'T READ YOUR MIND. There is a bike lane there for a reason, so please use it. And seriously, do NOT PASS ON THE RIGHT! ARRRRGGG.

Maybe I get upset because I see shades of my former self in them.i.e. Riding a bike without knowing the consequences of my actions. When I think of how I rode my bike on the road in college...um, I can't believe I am still here. No lights. No helmets. Riding home from the pizza place I worked at 1 in the morning!

Anyhoo, by doing the challenge (which breaks off from the main group at mile 26ish) I got to enjoy a fairly empty ride with people who were schooled in the art of cycling. It was spooky coming into the school where the lunch rest stop was because it was empty. When I did this ride in previous years, it was always super duper crowded at the rest stops. But, I was behind by an hour and half and missed the crowds.

We rode up Patterson Pass. Hill. Big hill. But, I didn't walk. We took group photos at the top and were surrounded by the maniacal flapping noises of windmills. Downhill was scary as I cuddled my brakes desperately hoping I would maintain control of my bike.

Going back into Livermoore on the Altamant pass was hell. We hit wind and took an hour to go SIX MILES. At one point I was all by myself on an empty road and was literally singing the talking heads song, " we're on a road to nowhere...."

So, that is all I want to say about this ride. I feel that I am gradually getting stronger, but just am not getting where I want to be. It will happen. Eventually.

The plan now? Get some open water swim time in and brick workouts with major hills on the run to prep for wildflower which is in, oh, LESS THAN THREE WEEKS.

sigh.

Thoughts while on a bike...

1) Dead flat squirrels are kinda gross.
2) 5 miles down, only 50 to go. Seriously?
3) Maybe that pre-ride mcmuffin was a poor choice.
4) I have to run 13 miles after this?
5) I think I have ridden 300 miles this month. Cool.
6) Was that a bug I just swallowed?
7) Santa Barbara would be a fun weekend getaway. Do I go in August or September. I should get some new dressed for that trip. That sounds so nice. Wine tasting. Relaxing on the beach....much better than being on a bike for 5 hours.
8) 20 miles down. 35 to go. Seriously?
9) I have seen some pretty cool parts of California on two wheels.
10) Maybe nasty grade isn't so nasty.
11) oooh...it is pretty nasty.
12) Relax.Relax.Relax. ACK TRUCK HAULING A TRAILER PASSING ME ON THIS HUGE HILLLLLLLL! Relax. Relax.
13) Did I seriously sign up for a two hundred mile bike ride in July?
14) Is it raining or was that just sweat pouring our of my helmet? Gross. Triathlons are gross.
15) Should I book a massage for Sunday or Monday?
16) Did I misss my turn. Its been 56 miles. Shouldn't I be there by now? Where is everybody? Where am i? I.Don't. Want. To. Be . On. This. Bike. Any. More. I will call a cab. I totally will. This ride can kiss my----oh, hey, that's where I turn. Sweet.
17) This hill is going to suuuuuuuck when it is crowded with triathletes.
18) Why don't I look like THAT in spandex shorts. I hate her. That's mean. I don't hate her. It's spandex I hate.
19) Seriously? 13 miles? After THIS?
20) What shall I have for dinner? What will be, like, the perfect food? Grilled cheese sounds amazing. Like, good grilled cheese, american cheese on sturdy bread and a chocolate shake..ohmygoshthatsoundssogoodandIwantitrightnowandIamsosickofsportsdrinksthattastelikepunchata6yearoldspartiesandsportsbarsthatlookliketheyarealreadydigestedandwhywouldtheycallsomethinggu.gross.