The other day Dennis and I were chilling on the couch, drinking coffee and entertaining ourselves (me: watching "My Life on the D-List"; him : reading the news on his laptop). He chuckled out loud and I paused the show to ask him what was so funny.
"Well, I am reading this article from the New York Times ----hey I am not going to finish the story if you keep rolling your eyes."
I couldn't help the roll. I love to tease him about when he quotes NPR or the New York Times because if it came from anyone else besides him, it would seem undeniably pretentious. Luckily, he is the smartest person I know so I can cut him some slack. It is cool though because I often quote US Weekly. We balance each other out.
"Sorry," I said, "Continue."
"Well, the writer of the article discussed how 'narcissist' is the new buzzword and everyone is all self-absorbed with Facebooks, MySpace, blogs. The author believes they really they aren't being narcissistic, they are just being jerks."
"Heh heh," I said weakly, "Funny."
As I thought about blog posts, uploading race photos to MySpace and how I talk about my triathlon training with everyone I run into, I started to wonder something: "Have I become narcissistic?" Or worse: "Am I a jerk?"
I think back on the past couple of years and, to quote Bobby Darrin, I'm beginning to see the light.
I am living in this little bubble where I think everything is about me and that people should revolve their lives around my actions. Plus, I think I have developed a bit of a chip on my shoulder and have a low tolerance for other people's actions. I tend to get worked up when someone cuts me off on the freeway, drives in the bike lane while I am in it, doesn't move on the trail when I shout "On your freakin' left!" I get irritated when people stand too close to me in Starbucks, I shudder when people bring children to restaurants and they start screaming. I can feel the stress working its way into my body and it doesn't really create sustainable energy (i.e. "that driver just flipped me off and I am so angry at him right now that when I get home I am going to take a nice long run." That doesn't happen. Usually I marinate in the anger and complain to Dennis about it.)
I think most of all I need to be more accepting of people who aren't used to cyclists or runners. if someone doesn't make room for me, I shouldn't scowl at them. What is that going to prove?
Last week my friend Jen and I went to Baskin Robbins for ice cream. We were enjoying our treats outside and saw this lady walking toward a car in the parking lot. She got really upset that someone had left their dog in the car with the windows rolled up. In fact, she got so upset that she went into Baskin Robbins and demanded to know who owned the car. She then yelled at the woman who owned the car about how she needs to roll the window down so the dog had air. She then got super worked up and continued to rip the lady a new one by talking about animal cruelty and then proceeded to use a ridiculous amount of obscenities. The owner of the car went outside to roll the windows down and the woman said to her in a very sarcastic tone: "Thank you very much for rolling down your windows. Thank you." And then she got a crazy look in her eye as the soccer mom went back into Baskin Robbins, "What? What are you looking at? Do you want to take a go at it?"
Meanwhile Jen and I were silent, avoiding any eye contact with the crazy lady. The crazy lady's friend finally convinced her to leave, and when it was safe I turned to Jen and said, "Um, I seriously thought this was going to turn into an episode of Cops."
Jen laughed and said, "It's nice to know that she is concerned about the well being of someone else's dog yet doesn't care about dropping F bombs in front of her daughter." Oh yeah, the crazy lady had her own 8 year old daughter with her as well. Classy.
"Do you think if I talked to her about that, she would laugh about the irony of the situation or she would try to kick my butt? "
"Probably kick your butt," Jen said.
"Hmmm...your right." I thought about it, "Do you think I could take her? I have never gotten into a physical fight before. I mean, if it came down to a self defense situation---I bet I could probably get down and dirty. I wouldn't be able to throw a punch, but maybe throw some kicks in or pull hair and scratch."
"You may have a bit of a chance," Jen said, "You have been working out a lot lately. I think my strategy would be to ask her 'What's one plus one?' and when she stops to think about it---bam! I kick her in the shins and run away."
We laughed into our ice creams and started talking about The Real World from the early 90s versus the skanky Real World now
Now that I think about it, what separates me from this crazy lady? When someone doesn't make room for me on a trail or on Foothill Expressway, I give them the dirtiest look or a gesture that says, "Thanks a lot,jerk wad." The crazy lady's approach to get the woman wasn't the most effective way to go about the situation. She could have calmly told the woman that it appears she may have forgotten to roll her windows down and the dog probably needs some fresh air. Then the woman would have said, "Oh my goodness! I can't believe that, thank you so much for your consideration." Instead, the woman was threatened by the crazy lady and probably was thinking, "Dang, I wish I didn't leave my pepper spray in the car with the dog." Maybe I need to be more like a rational human being and less like the crazy lady.
The evening after the NY Times conversation, Dennis and I were at a restaurant having dinner and I shared my revelation with him.
" I decided something today."
"What's that?" He asked before taking a sip of his Mojito.
"I decided I am not going to get annoyed by stupid people anymore."
After he almost snorted out mojito because of his laughter he said, "Come again?"
I shrugged, "I don't know. I feel like lately I have become more cynical and less tolerant of people. Like what good does it do to get worked up over someone who takes up the whole aisle of the pasta aisle in Safeway with their cart? Maybe they are cooking this great dinner to meet their future in-laws and they are stressed about the cooking. I need to be more tolerant of other people's journeys."
"Your not going to go back to your hippie ways, are you?"
"No way---I am totally going to keep showering and won't be listening to The Dead or anything. Well, I just feel that me grunting my annoyance or rolling my eyes isn't going to solve anything. It is not going to make people feel better about cyclists when we flip them off if they cut us off. I think I need to be friendlier to people when they aren't considerate. I think a smile and a 'excuse me, on your left' may be a good start. It is amazing how much more receptive people are to a smile than a scowl."
"This is true."
"So, from now on I am just going to let go of my anger and focus my energy elsewhere. I want to be a nice person again."
"Sounds like a very good goal. Now can we get the check and go see Batman?"
I agree and think that going to see the movie at the mall is a great place to test out being more tolerant of people. Usually the mall is filled with zombies dazed by all the products marketed to them. The trip to the mall went well, I smiled at people, said excuse me and noticed something interesting. If I go into a situation with a positive attitude, chances are I will I come out of it with the same positive attitude.
It has been three days and Optimism is beating Cynicism in the fight for my outlook on life. And actually, it makes driving not as annoying when I don't brace myself for people being stupid.
Now I just have to figure out how to make this positive thinking work for my triathlon training...
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
"I don't want to do this anymore!"
It is officially less than 2 weeks to go until the big Barb's Race. The Vineman 70.3 was on Saturday and I checked out the results on-line, to get a sense of where I may be. I won't utter any goal times out loud until after the race for fear of jinxing myself.
My training is becoming pretty intense. For the past week, my workouts have been lasting 1-3 hours! that is like watching the newest batman plus all the million previews! I am tired and sore, yet have a lot more energy than I have had before. Plus--- food has never tasted so good! Yesterday after the Catfish swim Dennis and I went to breakfast and it was such a party. I was taking bites of my omelet, slathering jam on toast, piercing my fork in Dennis' Benedict and told him: "I am having such a fun time!"
The Catfish was a swimming-only race where you can choose to swim a 1.2, 2.4 or 3.6 mile swim in the Stevens Creek Reservoir. I signed up for the 1.2 because I wanted to know what 1.2 in a lake setting felt like (plus, I need more practice getting in and out of my wetsuit.) in preparation for Barb's.
I decided to call it a practice swim and not a race, because my RACE is in two weeks and I have my enthusiasm on reserve. Plus, as noted previously, my workouts have been getting intense and I definitely didn't have nice fresh legs for a race.
Dennis and I left at 7:00 to head to the race. We biked from our townhouse to the start---about 5 miles. I was also wearing my tri-backpack filled with my wetsuit, goggles, swim cap and towel. As I got on my bike, I could only think one thing: "Ouch!" It was my 4th day in a row on a bike, and certain unmentionable body parts were protesting the torture. Oh, wait, I was thinking two things: "ouch" and "brrrr." Funny, I thought it was supposed to be warm in California in July. Not so much at 7 in the morning.
We arrived at the reservoir and I stumbled into my wetsuit. Note to self---wetsuits are hard to put on when slightly sweaty from biking. I kissed Dennis goodbye and headed to the start. He found a good spot where he could watch both the swimmers and the bikes.
It was a water start, which meant you get in the water first and just kind of bob around until they start the race. I surveyed the buoys to visualize the turns and the distance of the race. Funny, 1.2 miles in a lake doesn't look all that far. It must be an optical illusion.
Unlike triathlons---which start in age group waves---it was going to be a mass start. I bobbed to the back of the pack as I didn't want to get in anyones way. I was not there to win the gold.
Speaking of which---there was a girl in the race who will be competing in the Olympics this year! How cool is it that I was in the same water as a future Olympian? Her race at the Olympics is the 10k open water swim and she wants to do it in 2 hours. Yeah, that is 6.2 miles of swimming! Rock star.
Anyways, the race started and bam! Pure anarchy. I have always been somewhat cautious about the open water swim in triathlons because of all the appendages flying everywhere, but this was like no open water swim I have done before. They should have called it the Sardine swim because I felt like we were a bunch of sardines squeezed together swimming. I had people swimming on top of me, pushing me, pulling hair (ok, maybe not pulling hair as we were all wearing swim caps)...It felt like an extreme sports version of "Lord of the Flies." I saw these two women frozen in the water eying the insanity and one said to the other, "I don't want to do this anymore!"
Luckily, I did not panic. I did, however, have to chuck my personal space issues out of the reservoir. I am not really a hugging person, nor do I like close talking people---but I had no choice today. Eventually the group spread out and I was able to maintain a good pace. I didn't go fast, but I really concentrated on my stroke and breathing. About halfway through the race it got a little congested again. I had one guy swimming on my right and a woman on my left and they were both coming towards me at a fast pace. I slowed my pace and let them both pass me and I watched them crash right into each other. Ouch. That is going to leave a mark. I am actually surprised Open Water Swimming isn't a bigger spectator sport as football--there is kind of a lot of physical contact and (though unintentional) violence.
1.2 miles is a long time to swim in the open water---the furthest I had done was .9 in the Olympic distance triathlons. I finally made it to the finish and got out of the water, wondering what my time would be. The clock had a little over 42 minutes on it. I was pleasantly surprised, as my goal was to do it in under an hour. All in all, a great practice swim. Maybe next year I will do the 2.4 distance.
I have learned a couple things about open water swimming these past few months:
1) Don't drink lake water unless you want parasitic pets in your system. Mmmmm...gardia...deelish...
2) Find a discreet way to spit in your goggles to defog them
3) Breastroke kickers are scarier than sharks.
My training is becoming pretty intense. For the past week, my workouts have been lasting 1-3 hours! that is like watching the newest batman plus all the million previews! I am tired and sore, yet have a lot more energy than I have had before. Plus--- food has never tasted so good! Yesterday after the Catfish swim Dennis and I went to breakfast and it was such a party. I was taking bites of my omelet, slathering jam on toast, piercing my fork in Dennis' Benedict and told him: "I am having such a fun time!"
The Catfish was a swimming-only race where you can choose to swim a 1.2, 2.4 or 3.6 mile swim in the Stevens Creek Reservoir. I signed up for the 1.2 because I wanted to know what 1.2 in a lake setting felt like (plus, I need more practice getting in and out of my wetsuit.) in preparation for Barb's.
I decided to call it a practice swim and not a race, because my RACE is in two weeks and I have my enthusiasm on reserve. Plus, as noted previously, my workouts have been getting intense and I definitely didn't have nice fresh legs for a race.
Dennis and I left at 7:00 to head to the race. We biked from our townhouse to the start---about 5 miles. I was also wearing my tri-backpack filled with my wetsuit, goggles, swim cap and towel. As I got on my bike, I could only think one thing: "Ouch!" It was my 4th day in a row on a bike, and certain unmentionable body parts were protesting the torture. Oh, wait, I was thinking two things: "ouch" and "brrrr." Funny, I thought it was supposed to be warm in California in July. Not so much at 7 in the morning.
We arrived at the reservoir and I stumbled into my wetsuit. Note to self---wetsuits are hard to put on when slightly sweaty from biking. I kissed Dennis goodbye and headed to the start. He found a good spot where he could watch both the swimmers and the bikes.
It was a water start, which meant you get in the water first and just kind of bob around until they start the race. I surveyed the buoys to visualize the turns and the distance of the race. Funny, 1.2 miles in a lake doesn't look all that far. It must be an optical illusion.
Unlike triathlons---which start in age group waves---it was going to be a mass start. I bobbed to the back of the pack as I didn't want to get in anyones way. I was not there to win the gold.
Speaking of which---there was a girl in the race who will be competing in the Olympics this year! How cool is it that I was in the same water as a future Olympian? Her race at the Olympics is the 10k open water swim and she wants to do it in 2 hours. Yeah, that is 6.2 miles of swimming! Rock star.
Anyways, the race started and bam! Pure anarchy. I have always been somewhat cautious about the open water swim in triathlons because of all the appendages flying everywhere, but this was like no open water swim I have done before. They should have called it the Sardine swim because I felt like we were a bunch of sardines squeezed together swimming. I had people swimming on top of me, pushing me, pulling hair (ok, maybe not pulling hair as we were all wearing swim caps)...It felt like an extreme sports version of "Lord of the Flies." I saw these two women frozen in the water eying the insanity and one said to the other, "I don't want to do this anymore!"
Luckily, I did not panic. I did, however, have to chuck my personal space issues out of the reservoir. I am not really a hugging person, nor do I like close talking people---but I had no choice today. Eventually the group spread out and I was able to maintain a good pace. I didn't go fast, but I really concentrated on my stroke and breathing. About halfway through the race it got a little congested again. I had one guy swimming on my right and a woman on my left and they were both coming towards me at a fast pace. I slowed my pace and let them both pass me and I watched them crash right into each other. Ouch. That is going to leave a mark. I am actually surprised Open Water Swimming isn't a bigger spectator sport as football--there is kind of a lot of physical contact and (though unintentional) violence.
1.2 miles is a long time to swim in the open water---the furthest I had done was .9 in the Olympic distance triathlons. I finally made it to the finish and got out of the water, wondering what my time would be. The clock had a little over 42 minutes on it. I was pleasantly surprised, as my goal was to do it in under an hour. All in all, a great practice swim. Maybe next year I will do the 2.4 distance.
I have learned a couple things about open water swimming these past few months:
1) Don't drink lake water unless you want parasitic pets in your system. Mmmmm...gardia...deelish...
2) Find a discreet way to spit in your goggles to defog them
3) Breastroke kickers are scarier than sharks.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Greatest Hits
Yesterday I entertained my training group by telling a very embarrassing story regarding me, Foothill Expressway and my helmet. It made me realize that I have kind of A LOT of not so flattering stories involving me on a bike, in running shoes and possibly in the water. Some are athletic and some are not (i.e. riding a bike because I didn't have a car). So, in no particular order, I present you: "The Greatest Hits on Bike, Land and Water that Have Made me the Well Formed (klutz) Woman I Am Today." So enjoy, and if you totally bite it some time and are embarassed, refer back to this post and know someone bit it harder than you.
1) bike (recreational): While riding through University of Oregon's football stadium parking lot on the way to my apartment, I stopped looking in front of me for a minute. It was dark so I couldn't see things very well. For some reason I decided to look up and saw a rope used to divide parking spaces right in front of me. I slammed on my breaks, which didn't help with the bungee effect of my torso making contact with the rope and I fly off my wheels. Skinned knees: check. Bruised ego: check.
2) bike (recreational): same parking lot; I got off my bike to go through a gate and was face to face with this disgusting looking creature that is reminiscent of the Rodents Of Unusual Size from the Princess Bride (except the size of this dude wasn't very unusual). I slowly backed away from the hideous thing and he lunged toward me while making a warrior sound (o.k., I think it was just a small hiss) as his claw grazed my oh so stylin' Dickies overalls (cut me some slack---I was in college and my fashion sense wasn't quite fully formed yet---I promised my husband years ago that I will never wear overalls again). I screamed like someone attending the prom in Carrie right after she went all crazy telekinetic and jumped on my bike. Turns out the creature was the dreaded eco-system-destroying nutria that love to roam around marshy areas in Eugene and terrorize curly haired girls wearing overalls.
I still shudder at the thought of that claw.
3) bike (recreational): Let me preface this story by telling you that I was not a sporty kid. I wasn't even allowed to ride my bike past the end of my street, so as an adult I lacked coordination on two wheels. So, one time I rode through Eugene with some friends and we went up this hill. My friends in front of me got up of their seat to pedal up the hill. I thought, "Hey, that looks cool. I am going to try it." Next thing I know I am crumpled on the ground and my friends look back and freak out because they think the truck that stopped behind me hit me. Nah, just me being me.
4) Running: I am 10 and at sleepaway camp playing a very intense game of Capture the Flag. Even back then I had the habit of not looking in front of me while moving. So, while running for the flag, I made contact with a tree trunk that was waist level and spent the rest of camp with a huge bruise in a place where bruises NEVER should be.
5) Running: About 8 years ago I was running around my parents' neighborhood. There is a point where the sidewalk ends and you have to get off the curb and land on the street. It is early into my run and (warning: kinda gross) after 10 minutes of running I usually have to hock a loog.Because I am not the best athletic multi-tasker, I do the deed without realizing it is time to jump off the curb. See #3: "crumpled on ground."
6) biking (workout) While riding on Foothill Expressway two years ago (post-college cruiser but pre-rocking pink handlebar road bike), I noticed this male driver totally checking me out. He wasn't even trying to hide it as he cranked his neck to ogle. I rolled my eyes, wishing that a girl could just work out in peace. I turned into the left lane and we are both stopped at a light. The dude had the nerve to roll down his window to talk to me. What kind of tired pick up line is he going to use? I look over at him and he said "Your helmet is on backwards." Luckily my light turned green right after he spoke and I rode to a parking lot to flip my helmet around, totally embarassed because I was riding like that for TWO HOURS!
7) swimming: last year I went to an Open Water Swim Clinic in Santa Cruz. I had to rent a surfing wetsuit at a surf shack on the beach. The store dude helped me pick a size and I went to the restroom to grunt my way into the wetsuit. I looked in the mirror and thought, "I look ridiculous. Oh well." I went to the main part of the store and asked the store dude what he thought. He said while barely stifling a smile, "Well, it is on inside out. And backwards."
Are you noticing a theme here?
That is it for now. But don't worry, I am sure there are many more stories to come because as long as I am moving, I will surely be falling.
1) bike (recreational): While riding through University of Oregon's football stadium parking lot on the way to my apartment, I stopped looking in front of me for a minute. It was dark so I couldn't see things very well. For some reason I decided to look up and saw a rope used to divide parking spaces right in front of me. I slammed on my breaks, which didn't help with the bungee effect of my torso making contact with the rope and I fly off my wheels. Skinned knees: check. Bruised ego: check.
2) bike (recreational): same parking lot; I got off my bike to go through a gate and was face to face with this disgusting looking creature that is reminiscent of the Rodents Of Unusual Size from the Princess Bride (except the size of this dude wasn't very unusual). I slowly backed away from the hideous thing and he lunged toward me while making a warrior sound (o.k., I think it was just a small hiss) as his claw grazed my oh so stylin' Dickies overalls (cut me some slack---I was in college and my fashion sense wasn't quite fully formed yet---I promised my husband years ago that I will never wear overalls again). I screamed like someone attending the prom in Carrie right after she went all crazy telekinetic and jumped on my bike. Turns out the creature was the dreaded eco-system-destroying nutria that love to roam around marshy areas in Eugene and terrorize curly haired girls wearing overalls.
I still shudder at the thought of that claw.
3) bike (recreational): Let me preface this story by telling you that I was not a sporty kid. I wasn't even allowed to ride my bike past the end of my street, so as an adult I lacked coordination on two wheels. So, one time I rode through Eugene with some friends and we went up this hill. My friends in front of me got up of their seat to pedal up the hill. I thought, "Hey, that looks cool. I am going to try it." Next thing I know I am crumpled on the ground and my friends look back and freak out because they think the truck that stopped behind me hit me. Nah, just me being me.
4) Running: I am 10 and at sleepaway camp playing a very intense game of Capture the Flag. Even back then I had the habit of not looking in front of me while moving. So, while running for the flag, I made contact with a tree trunk that was waist level and spent the rest of camp with a huge bruise in a place where bruises NEVER should be.
5) Running: About 8 years ago I was running around my parents' neighborhood. There is a point where the sidewalk ends and you have to get off the curb and land on the street. It is early into my run and (warning: kinda gross) after 10 minutes of running I usually have to hock a loog.Because I am not the best athletic multi-tasker, I do the deed without realizing it is time to jump off the curb. See #3: "crumpled on ground."
6) biking (workout) While riding on Foothill Expressway two years ago (post-college cruiser but pre-rocking pink handlebar road bike), I noticed this male driver totally checking me out. He wasn't even trying to hide it as he cranked his neck to ogle. I rolled my eyes, wishing that a girl could just work out in peace. I turned into the left lane and we are both stopped at a light. The dude had the nerve to roll down his window to talk to me. What kind of tired pick up line is he going to use? I look over at him and he said "Your helmet is on backwards." Luckily my light turned green right after he spoke and I rode to a parking lot to flip my helmet around, totally embarassed because I was riding like that for TWO HOURS!
7) swimming: last year I went to an Open Water Swim Clinic in Santa Cruz. I had to rent a surfing wetsuit at a surf shack on the beach. The store dude helped me pick a size and I went to the restroom to grunt my way into the wetsuit. I looked in the mirror and thought, "I look ridiculous. Oh well." I went to the main part of the store and asked the store dude what he thought. He said while barely stifling a smile, "Well, it is on inside out. And backwards."
Are you noticing a theme here?
That is it for now. But don't worry, I am sure there are many more stories to come because as long as I am moving, I will surely be falling.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
soundtracks, rantings on circle swims and mini to major freakouts
Underwater Mp3 players are the best. I finally tested mine out yesterday with a 1700 yard swim. I probably looked ridiculous because the headphones are oval shaped and rest from the cheekbones to the ears. That combined with goggles and my "Oh Snap!" swim cap (yes, that is what is written on it in swirly letters) makes me look like quite the rock star.
Speaking of rock stars, finding songs for swimming was quite the fun little challenge. I didn't want anything from my running Mp3, and you definitely can't sprint in the water like you can when you run (so no testosterone music AKA Beastie Boys, Suicidal Tendencies and Guns and Roses). So, my swimming mix consists of such greats as "Gone Daddy Gone" (Violent Femmes, not Gnarls B.), "Heaven is a Place on Earth" and "Beyond the Sea."
The sound is ok, considering you are underwater. The quality reminds me of my old aqua blue cassette boombox that I used to listen to my Huey Lewis and Whitney Houston tapes.
There is something surreal about being underwater with music. I feel like I am in my own movie.
I have not been able to , however, enjoy my Mp3 and fancy lap counter because for the past 3 weeks the dang pool in my complex is being repaired. I am going to various community pools in the area, but they are packed. Nothing is better than having my own lane, but on Wednesday I circle swam with 3 other people! Not a quality workout. I was so distracted about my pace that I couldn't keep track of time. ugh! That pool better be fixed soon or I will be one angry trijill.
I think the root of my short fuse anger is most likely my mini freak outs about the race. It is seriously 3 weeks from tomorrow. I am having a hard time envisioning what those 13 miles are going to feel like after I ride 56 miles. It feels like forever since I ran 13 miles---though it was only last May. What will the swim feel like? Why does my body feel so tight lately?
Reality is starting to hit me as far as what I signed up for and I am gonna be honest...
I am pretty scared.
Speaking of rock stars, finding songs for swimming was quite the fun little challenge. I didn't want anything from my running Mp3, and you definitely can't sprint in the water like you can when you run (so no testosterone music AKA Beastie Boys, Suicidal Tendencies and Guns and Roses). So, my swimming mix consists of such greats as "Gone Daddy Gone" (Violent Femmes, not Gnarls B.), "Heaven is a Place on Earth" and "Beyond the Sea."
The sound is ok, considering you are underwater. The quality reminds me of my old aqua blue cassette boombox that I used to listen to my Huey Lewis and Whitney Houston tapes.
There is something surreal about being underwater with music. I feel like I am in my own movie.
I have not been able to , however, enjoy my Mp3 and fancy lap counter because for the past 3 weeks the dang pool in my complex is being repaired. I am going to various community pools in the area, but they are packed. Nothing is better than having my own lane, but on Wednesday I circle swam with 3 other people! Not a quality workout. I was so distracted about my pace that I couldn't keep track of time. ugh! That pool better be fixed soon or I will be one angry trijill.
I think the root of my short fuse anger is most likely my mini freak outs about the race. It is seriously 3 weeks from tomorrow. I am having a hard time envisioning what those 13 miles are going to feel like after I ride 56 miles. It feels like forever since I ran 13 miles---though it was only last May. What will the swim feel like? Why does my body feel so tight lately?
Reality is starting to hit me as far as what I signed up for and I am gonna be honest...
I am pretty scared.
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