New Year's Suggestions

Last week one of my friends posted this article on New Year's Resolutions and said it reminded her of me. Sad but true. I make these grandiose declarations about training and goals and overall-awesomeness only to ignore it all and not do my (unrealistic?) training.

So instead of New Year's Resolutions , I will follow the author's lead and write suggestions.
But...first let me preface this by saying this year I signed up for a Big Deal event: The Death Ride. I think a lot of the people in my life may be a wee bit concerned because my previous history of untraining (probably not a word, but who cares) could be downright dangerous for this 120ish mile 15k climbing bike ride. (The elevation chart is posted above...eeek...)

Is it possible to break bad habits? There isn't a super magical formula for this ride---it's really RIDE A LOT. Like, a lot a lot. But I do think putting together New Year's suggestions (NOT resolutions) will help me wrap my head around this beast, a training plan, and how to have a normal life AND be ready for this event in July. Not all the suggestions are Death Ride specific, but they do fit in the bigger picture of why I do these events and my desire to be a stronger person ready to take on the world.

So, here goes:

1. I will work on not talking myself out of things (or into).
Do you ever notice how easy it is to say "no" to things? Like, when my alarm goes off there is a decision involved, "Wake up" or "Snooze." "Snooze" is basically saying no to getting up and getting that early workout in. I go to bed with these high expecations of, "Oh yeah, I totally will wake up tomorrow and run 10 miles before work and make my lunch and make the world a totally peaceful place." But I always end up hitting snooze. So, I will work on NOT snoozing.

Case in point: yesterday my husband suggested we go on a bike ride. I was all set to talk myself out of it. I rationalized that I was tired, I rode 42 miles Friday and had back to back running races on Saturday and Sunday. But then I remembered I really need saddle time. I have a month before my training really begins and the quicker I get used to sitting on a bike saddle on a regular basis, the better.

On the flipside, I will work on not saying "yes" to certain things (like that first, second or third slice of cake).

2. I will work on not going too far in the future
One of my big bad habits is in the middle of my training for an event my mind starts to wander and I start thinking about the next event. This is dangerous territory as it is key to stay focused and keep your eye on the prize. What does this mean? It means try not to think about what the next big thing after Death Ride.

3. I will try to drown out the negative voices---including my own.
The fact is, there will always be someone smarter, prettier, funnier and triathlonier (not a word, but who cares?) than me. Just as it is easy to say "no" to waking up, it's just as easy to hate on myself. I recognize I need to do some serious self-care and I haven't really been super nice to myself. There is a running joke between my friends and I that I don't like my picture taken. And it's sad but true. I haven't taken care of myself as I have in the past and do not want to see the ugly truth as shown on digital images (I am talking to YOU race day photos). But the truth is, does it really matter that I am not a size 2? That I may never break an hour 10k again? Maybe there are people out there who don't think I can pull off this Death Ride or (FILL IN THE BLANKS) thing---but does that really matter? I mean, that is their issue, and I should work on figuring out how not to make it my issue.

I was thinking about this whole "no pictures" thing the other day as I was playing with my 7-year-old niece. What if she heard my inner thoughts on my appearance? What kind of message is that sending her? It would break my heart if she thought about herself that way. Deep down I hope that she sees me doing these events and it makes her have faith in herself, not be afraid to take risks, and know that she is an awesome person. Inside and out.

So, that's it. My big list. Nothing earth shattering or super specific.
I decided to limit it to 3. Three is a magic number. Anything past that can get overwhelming and then it is much much easier to just say no to everything.

The fact of the matter is, it's going to be hard. Life is hard. But pushing through the challenges (the ones you take on and the ones that are thrown in your face) is really where all the self-growth stuff comes from.



So...let's do this 2012...

A Slacker Triathlete's Christmas Carol

We are getting close to the end of the year which means top 10 lists, New year’s Resolutions, overindulging and all that jazz. Because I am feeling the holiday spirit, I thought I would take a stab at writing a Holiday-themed post. And I present to you:

A Slacker Triathlete’s Christmas Carol.

We start our story with a (not so) young lady named Ji---er… let’s call her Diva. Diva had a case of the Scrooges this year. She had a pretty blah racing season despite finishing her second half-ironman and completing a 3.6 mile swim race. She had almost had a panic attack in an ocean swim in March, barely rode her cute pink bike, and discovered how totally unbendy she was by taking yoga. She didn’t feel like she was getting faster or stronger even though she placed in a couple races (it helped there were only 2-3 people in her age group for those races). Something was missing this year. And there was a dark cloud ominously hanging over her head in the ominous way dark clouds can hang.

Her friends tried to cheer her up by inviting her to ocean swims to which she would reply “Bah humsharks! Bah cold water!” and then do her best imitation of a 15-year-old boy by eating junk food and playing video games all day when she should be working out.

On a particularly dark and late night on the eve eve eve of Christmas she took a break from the Legend of Zelda and checked her e-mail, mainly to give her Wii-ed out hands some rest. She was visited by the Ghost of Slacker Triathlete’s Past. This being 2011, ghosts are way high tech and now can communicate via e-mail, Facebook and Twitter. She clicked “open” on the e-mail (cue scary music):

“Hey Ji---oops I mean, Diva,

Remember the Long Course?

We just wanted to drop you a note and let you know that the AVIA Wildflower Triathlon is turning 30. Mark your calendar and plan your training accordingly. We invite you to revisit your favorite course, connect with old friends and remember why Wildflower is known as “The One and Only.”

Diva shuddered at the memory of this race that was one of her biggest race failures, not to mention a totally disgusting sunburn. This was the 2^nd time Diva did not finish a ½ ironman and the first time she cried at a race (and these were soul shaking tears, not tears of joy). Why did she sign up for that race? Why didn’t she train? What happened to the Diva-dominator from 2008 who finished strong and, well finished PERIOD? What had she become?

The Ghost of Slacker Triathlete’s Past sent her an IM (remember, they are totally hooked into the technology. That way they can haunt multiple people a night. In these challenging economic times, ghosts have to be as efficient as possible otherwise they risk being replaced by a younger faster ghost.) that read:

“Learn from this DNF. You need to train. Consistently. And ride your bike more. Like, a lot more. Or you will repeat this failure again…and again…and again. TTYL.”

Diva was scared. So scared it took her an hour to recover and get back to her Zelda game. Diva was no dummy, she knew the Ghost of Slacker Triathlete’s Present was going to make a cameo appearance…it was just a matter of when.

She went to bed. She was in a deep sleep dreaming wonderful dreams when she was violently woken up by a needle being jammed in her brow.

“OWWWW!” Diva screamed, “What the---?”

The moonlight was poking through her window casting a light on some unrecognizable figure.

“Who are you? “ She asked “Are you a ghost?” She observed the expensive highlighted blonde hair and strangely bloated and contorted face, “You look…kind of human.”

The figure spoke, “Oh, I was a human. And then I sold my soul to be on the Real Housewives…can you hold still so I can finish up this Botox?”

Diva jerked back. “No thanks! I will pass on the botchilism tonight. But why are you here? I was expecting , you know, a ghost of the present yadda yadda…”

The Housewife rolled her eyes, or at least did her best to roll her eyes through facial paralysis. “Duh, that’s why I am here.”

“Oh my gawd,” Diva gasped. “Am I going to be a Real Housewife? I really don’t think hair extensions would work on me…and I can’t have a teeny dog. I am a cat person.”

“Shut your mouth. Sheesh. Like Bravo would ever take YOU. I am here to show you what your present has been: watching reruns of the Real Housewives or playing video games when you really should be thinking about your training plans and um….when was the last time you worked that core?”

“In my defense,” Diva said, “I don’t watch the Atlanta Housewives.”

“Whatever. Listen, I love it that you are like totally addicted to us, because I mean seriously, look at me. I am amazing. But if you want to have a good racing year at least get on the bike trainer while you watch or watch AFTER you workout. And brush your teeth before so you aren’t tempted for late night snacking. Ok?”

Diva shook her head “yes.”

“Awesome,” said the housewife, “I gotta jam now. I gotta go throw a table at someone or buy $25,000 sunglasses or try and get my own series. I can’t remember which one---too many SkinnyGirl cosmos I guess.”

“Before you go,” Diva pleaded, “Can you tell me how scary the Ghost of Slacker Triathlete Future is.”

“Oh yeah,” The Housewife said. “Him. Apparently future ghosts are super expensive so they tried outsourcing them but I guess there were lots of complaints because it just wasn’t the same. People would get all freaked out seeing their futures and it didn’t help having someone on the phone reading a script saying things like, “it sounds like you are scared. I do not know how to process this. Let me escalate that. For reference your job ticket number for this call is ‘42178 This ticket is now closed.”

“So, no ghost?”

“Nah, the CEO decided that in this day and age people can and should figure out their future themselves. OK…I am super bored now. Later.”

And poof! The spirit was gone leaving only a mist of airbrush tanning solution falling in droplets to the ground.

The next day Diva woke up, still freaked out by the siliconed encounter from the night before. Though the Housewife was vapid, mean, and maybe a little drunk, something she said resonated with Diva:

“In this day and age people can and should figure out their future themselves.”

Diva thought about this. She could either relive the past, train sporadically, and have horrible races OR she could figure out how to get back on track. Perhaps she could find her drive and motivation again and having a successful race.

So…Diva wil figure out all that stuff…just not now…AFTER the holidays…

Things to be thankful for: Triathlete Edition

Seeing as tomorrow is Thanksgiving and everyone is talking about what they are thankful for and I haven’t blogged in a while I figured let’s do a thankful list. Wow. Hello run on sentence.

1. I am thankful the training season is over.

Because I am spent. Phew! I will do a more reflective post when it is closer to New Year’s , but this year was kind of all over the place with events. And it is done!

2. I am thankful that I can always change my mind.

Yes, I know I said I was done for the year. And yet why did I just this week decide to sign up for the Silicon Valley Turkey Trot after vowing last year never again to do it? Um, I never really learn my lesson. Plus, it has become my Thanksgiving morning tradition!

3. I am thankful for friends and family.

Because of this crazy sport called triathlon, I have become friends with some incredible, supportive, funny people who also call me out on things (ahem, like maybe not really training…). What are friends for, right? I also am thankful for the support of my hubby to be totally cool with these events that I do. And also, he knows when to keep his mouth shut when he is a little nervous about an event I do. And I like it that he brags to his co-workers about crazy things I do and they have this image that I am hardcore. We can keep my poser-ness a secret.

4. I am thankful for my coach.

Heidi. You rock. 2012 will be my 4^th year with you. For someone like me with commitment issues, that is HUGE. Thank you for being…just being Heidi.

5. I am thankful for heroes.

This past Sunday 3 of my friends completed the Ironman Arizona. An Ironman! That is crazy! One of them joined my workout group the same year I did. And to think she completed an Ironman. It gets a girl thinking…Anyways, these three ladies are total heroes to me. They had the courage to sign up for something CRAZY, the dedication to train for it, and the strength to complete it.

6. I am thankful there are other races.

You know, I have had my fare share of turkeys out there in terms of events. Sometimes I finish a race (or DON’T finish a race…I am talking to you Barb’s and Wildflower. I will be back some day so just you wait) and the outcome was a complete bummer. Maybe I was hoping to PR. Maybe I didn’t realize there were hills on the bike. Maybe it rained during the swim and I came back to a soggy transition. Seriously though, even a bad race is still a good race. I have learned so much from events that let me down. Most importantly, I have learned that I shouldn’t be bummed too long because I may miss that awesome event just around the corner.

7. I am thankful that I did it.

The best feeling is when I sign up for an event and am not 100% sure that it is something I can do and I DO IT. There is a fear involved with triathlons and all these events. Especially if it is something I have never done before. Could I swim 3.6 miles? Could I bike 200 miles? And miraculously, most of the time I get there. And finishing something feels FANTASTIC.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Hey Lady, Take it Easy

Ok. That's it. For reals.

I am done with events for the year.

That became abundantly clear at yesterday's Golden State Triathlon. It was a sprint triathlon and was probably my slowest tri ever. And I am totally, 100% cool with that because, to quote Austin Powers, "And I'm spent!"

I foolishly thought that this would be a cakewalk (mmmm...cake) because it was JUST a sprint triathlon.

So what went wrong? Mainly, two things:

First: Don't underestimate a race's difficulty just because it is a distance you have done before.

Second:
Don't overestimate your ability just because it is a distance you have done before. Yeah, I have done plenty of sprints before, but a lot of things can come into play that can affect your race.

For example, let's take a look at the events I did in September:

9/11/11 Big Kahuna 1/2 Ironman
Got sick the day after, did nothing for a week, and ran/swam a little teeny tiny pathetic but the week after

9/23/11 Had a work event, was awesome, but crazy busy, draining

9/25/11 Ran run portion for mermaid triathlon. Good pace considering lack of training.

10/1/11 3.6 mile open water swim


The 1/2 Ironman and 3.6 mile swim were both A races for me this year. Hmmm, probably not so good to have them spaced so close together.

So, already I was going into this race with event fatigue.

Also, last week I started a 21 day clean eating plan. It is really to help me get a hold on what I eat, limit my portions, eat foods that aren't empty calories etc. You get one cheat day a week and this week's happened to land on race day. However, I planned poorly and did not stop for breakfast on the way from our hotel in Sacramento to the start near the American River. I was too concerned with finding the venue. We kind of get lost a lot when we drive through Sacramento, primarily because there are bridges involved. I managed to find a mini Cliff Bar that I gulped down while setting up transition. That combined with my conservative eating the day before probably did not make for great pre-race nutrition.

After setting up transition I headed to the start of the race. The swim started way far away from transition (you had to cross a bridge to get there). I muttered a little "ouch ooch ouch" from walking barefoot through a park and over a bridge. I entered the water did some strokes and got ready for my wave to start. I noticed I had a little trouble swimming to the start buoy, but didn't really think much of it.

And then we were off.

The swim was tough. It was only 1/2 a mile and I totally thought I had it in the bag. I mean, c'mon! I swam 3.6 miles last weekend! I took off and noticed my arms were sore and I wasn't going as fast as I would like. And then it dawned on me: Oh, yeah. I swam 3.6 miles last weekend. I guess it may take time to recover from that. The swim was a little annoying because there were people stopping in the middle of the swimming, or doing breaststroke or backstroke butterfly. Argg!

As it turned out, there was a reason why the swim was so hard. It's called current. After the race I heard people talking about how hard the swim was because we were going against a really strong current. Oh, and those people weren't stopped on purpose in the river. They just couldn't get past the current. Yikes.

So, I finished the swim and proceeded to exit the lake. There were volunteers there to help you out while you climbed the MUDDY SUPER SLIPPERY STAIRS to get back to the park. Thankfully there was no falling. However, when I got out of the water and took my first step on the ground I got a swirly lightheaded feeling.

I was hungry.

I remember hearing the announcer saying there would be no aid stations on the bike. Eek. I got to transition, drank a bunch of water and reluctantly headed out on my bike.

Wow. How do you spell "SLOW?" Sheesh. I was dragging on the bike. And it was 3 five mile loops which made it feel even more tedious. After the second loop I started feeling a little weird. My stomach was cramping and I had cold sweats. I think I was running out of gas. At one point I thought about stopping after the second lap, but I just kept going.

Finally I was back in transition and getting my run stuff on. A man approached me, "I LOVE YOUR PINK BIKE! IT IS SOOOOO AWESOME!" He kept blabbing on about it, which ordinarily I like, but HELLO I am in transition! Then I asked him, "Are you finished?" He said yes to which I responded, "Well, I, uh gotta go because I have this run thing to take care of."

I headed out to the run. Right at the beginning there was an aid station. Hurrah! I grabbed Gatorade and Gu and it was like nectar of the gods. At every aid station I took a cup of Gatorade. I finally finished the 5k (with a record slow pace. Um...yea?) and f ound my hubby and we took off. I needed breakfast (and so did he since there wasn't food for spectators). We drove to our fave breakfast place in Sacramento and there must have been 30 people in line. FOILED AGAIN! We headed back to our hotel, dumped the bike, and walked to a breakfast place. We had to wait 20 minutes to get seated, which was fine. However, it was about 40 minutes before we got food. Sheesh!

Finally I had an egg white omelet in my belly and was ready for a catnap and watching Legally Blonde at the hotel room. It was awesome.

So, I learned a lot at this race. I hope I actually start applying these lessons. One thing I know is I will not be doing the 1/2 marathon I signed up for in two weeks. Judging from Sunday, my body is telling me, "Hey lady, take it easy."

I hope I do not go through event withdrawal. I already heard that some of my workout buddies are flirting with the idea of the Las Vegas Rock n Roll in December.

Must.Not.Log.Into.Active.com.

Slam the Dam: A Race Recap

OK folks. Let's do this thing.

I signed up for this event in the beginning of the summer mainly because I wanted an excuse to go to Vegas and get out of town for a weekend. The Slam the Dam event is at Lake Mead which is the back of Hoover Dam. They have 3 different races going on: an 8k, 1.2, and 2.4 mile swim. For people wanting to up their distance they could do the Super Slam which s the 1.2 and 2.4 mile swim, or the grand slam which is the 8k plus 1.2 mile swim. I knew I had to justify this race by signing up for a distance out of my comfort zone. The 8k did not seem like a realistic goal, so I thought, let's do the 3.6. Why the heck not, right?

My two friends and I met at SFO on Friday to fly out together. Our flight was supposed to leave at 9:30 but got delayed to 12:30. That wouldn't have been that bad if we were at the cool section of SFO. Oh well. We had a short flight to Vegas, got a rental car and drove about 20 miles to Boulder City.

We stayed at the Hacienda Inn, which was...um, how shall I put this delicately. It is what you would expect for a $50 a night hotel next to a major tourist attraction. They did boast 99 cent shrimp cocktail on their marquee. I decided that probably would not be a good choice for dinner, so we drove to the town and had dinner at a brewery.

We woke up at 4am(!) and headed to the start of the race. Did I mention there was lightning the night before? It was 5:45 when we arrived at the beach and they were still setting up the race. It was so dark, I could not see the lake. Finally the sun rose and this enormous lake was in front of me.

My friend was signed up for the 8k and unfortunately hurt her ankle earlier in the week. She took a shuttle with our other friend who was her kayaker to the start for that event. She texted me they may cancel the 8k because a thunderstorm was coming. They ended up not canceling, but she decided to do the 2.4 as it would be tough to swim in choppy water with an injury.

There was a delay at the start time, so we probably started the 2.4 mile race at 8:15 instead of 8.

I don't really know how to write about swimming. The 2.4 felt long, and choppy. My mind wandered a little. The last 1/4 of the swim I was getting nervous. I didn't have a watch on and was not sure if I would make it to the cut off time to start the 1.2. Fortunately, I did! I waited around about 20 minutes to start the 1.2. At first I was thinking it would be tough to swim again after a break, but I was thankful for the break because I got to eat a banana, drink some water, and reapply sunscreen.

The 1.2 race started and I was off again. It is interesting comparing the two races. The 2.4 had less people, and felt more mellow (or at least the fast hardcore people were way ahead of me, so I dd not feel the intensity). The 1.2 had more people and had a lot of people stopping in the middle of the water, doing breaststroke, etc. At one point I was stuck behind 3 people swimming next to one another. I decided to go for it and pass them. And something funny happened. I felt stronger on the 1.2 mile swim, then the 2.4. The only issue I had was my left shoulder was acting up, but other than that I felt great. And I finished! Whoo hoo! I had never swam that far in the open water before. The thing that amazed me is that the past 3 weeks my swim training has decreased significantly, and yet I was still able to finish. Still waiting for race results to post. I seriously have NO IDEA what my time was.

My friends and I packed up and headed to the strip. It was a great weekend filled with yummy food, a massage, and Jabberwockeez--- an awesome vegas show!

Next up: The Golden State Triathlon this Sunday! A sprint tri with a 9:20 am wave start. YAY!

My Hundredth Post!

Wow. 100 blog posts. That seems like...a lot...

I am struggling with the theme of this post. Should it be:
A) Race Recap of today's mermaid tri? It was a great event, but the fact I did the relay and my portion of the race was a 2.5 mile run does not seem to justify a whole blah blah-blog post.

B) The fear of this Saturday's swim event? 3.6 miles. No wetsuit. Open water. To quote Sixteen Candles, "Lake. Big Lake." Pool time since Big Kahuna? Um, one pool workout. Mainly because work has been--

C) Crazy. In a good way though. We had a big event on Friday and I found myself on-stage speaking to an audience of over 150 people. If you told me four years ago when I got laid off from the mortgage industry that I would be in the non-profit world and on a stage asking people for pledges I would have been all, "Say what?!" Don't get me wrong--it still terrifies the heck out of me being on stage addressing a crowd, but I somehow got through it.

Much like triathlons. And life...

And really, the truth is, challenges make life more interesting. Getting out of your comfort zone, pushing yourself, celebrating your successes and accepting your failures, constantly looking to the future of what is next...it's pretty cool.

A couple weeks ago I was taking a walk with my 7 year-old niece. She was talking about how she wants to be a teacher when she grows up. Then she asked me:

"What did you want to be when you grew up?"

I had to think.

"Um," I said. " A fashion designer. Or a child psychologist." (Yes, even at a young age I was all over the place. Not much has changed.)

"Is that what you are now?"

"No."

She looked at me a little disappointed. Or maybe it was surprise. "Why not?"

I thought about it. How do you explain this to a 7-year-old? I barely know how to explain it to myself.

"Well," I started slowly, "I think it is because when you get older, you start to see more things in the world. You discover other things that interest you."

She was not convinced.
"Not me. I am going to be a teacher no matter what."

"That's awesome!" I told her.

I think what is interesting that for me the adult version of "What do you want to be when you grow up?" had turned more into a "What do you want to be next?" And there are so many possibilities to that. An ironman? A person who can do one measley pull-up? A member of an improv comedy troup? A writer (like, a more than an occasional blog post writer)? A better friend? A better listener? A better leader? A better follower?

When you think about it, it's pretty exciting to think that there is a different "you" right around the corner...just depends on what path you take.

ew...i know...what's with all this positive thinking stuff. ick. What can I say? It's been a bit of an emotional week...and I think I am a hugger now...plus it IS my 100th post. I can be a little sappy, right?

Stick a Fork in Me...

because Big Kahuna is DONE!

I had planned on writing my race recap on Monday when it was all fresh in my head. But then I woke up with a fever and sore throat which was a lovely combination with the ran over by a truck feeling from the race. So, I am at home now, pumped full of cough syrup, going through boxes of kleenex and finally writing this re-cap.

A couple months ago I emailed the Race Director of the event (actually, sent emails to 3 different email addresses) to change to Aquabike. My training was all over the place and I was stressing myself out. I did not hear back from them so I took it as a sign that I was supposed to do this race. In my heart, I did not want another year to go by where I didn't finish a 1/2 ironman.

So, my good friend Diane was gracious enough to attend packet pick-up with me. And of course, when they gave me my race chip and bib I saw that it said "Aquabike." I had a feeling that would happen. I kinda flipped out on the volunteer a little (not my best moment). This is basically how the conversation went:

Volunteer: Is there a problem?
Me: Uh, yeah. I e-mailed the race director to switch to aquabike-
Volunteer: So, you want to do aquabike?
Me: NO. See, I e-mailed them THREE Times (and yes, I put three fingers up) and hadn't heard back so I trained for the full (by training I mean, I swam a lot, did some bricks and posted on facebook A LOT) and now I find out they switched to aquabike.

The volunteer graciously took down my information and they said they would switch me to the full.

Fine then.

So, Saturday night I drank lots of gatorade, ate at Fresh Choice and had everything packed and ready to go in my car. I prepped the coffeemaker. I knew I had to leave the house at 4am(!) to get to transition in time and give myself plenty of time to find free parking.

Technically I was in bed by 8, but I couldn't fall asleep so I read from my Kindle. Finally around 9:30 I turned the light off. I woke up at 2 and though to myself, "I could totally get up now." but went back to sleep. Then at 3:15 I heard a ruckus and a MREOW! Our cat Lily broke into our bedroom and was going nuts. I got up and tried to steer her downstairs. She was at the foot of the stairs so I tried to pick her up. She was having none of that and strategicaly focused all of her weight to the ground making her seem like the heaviest 12 pound cat ever. And of course our kitten was going buck wild, "MWEOW MWREOW WHAT"S GOING ON? IS IT TIME TO EAT?"

I finally got everyone situated downstairs and put the coffee on. Dennis came stumbling down (did I mention it was 3:30 am) because the commotion woke him up. I got dressed, filled up my coffee maker and headed out.

I got to transition, set up my stuff and met up with my friend Molly. Around 6:15 we headed to the beach for the race talk. It was a little overcast, but the water was calm. My coach was the announcer so she gave me a pre-race pep talk. Molly and I went into the water for a warm up swim. Then we headed to the line to start. There were a bunch of people taking photographs and Molly joked that it was like the paparazzi, to which I responded, "What are you wearing? Neoprene." Yes, I use humor as a defense mechanism when I am nervous.


Our age group was the 4th to start. Finally it was our turn and we ran to the water. It took me awhile to find my stride in the water. It got a little crowded and I could feel my breath getting out of control. I remembered my talk with coach heidi earlier this week. She said that at some of the workouts she had noticed something new in me, an aggression that she hadn't see in her 3 years working with me. She wanted me to channel that aggression at this race and she called it my Big K face. So something happened within me that made me determined to school this ocean. I put power in my stroke, I knew I wanted to do this swim STRONG. It felt strong as well. In retrospect, I should have worn a watch during the swim because I really had no idea if I was going fast. In the open water I have a hard time gauging speed. I was out of the water and greeted by people cheeirng us on. I ran the couple blocks barefoot to the transition, high fived my fellow teammate who was volunteering at the event and yelled at Heidi who was announcing, "Heidi! I am here!" Before I knew it, I was on the bike. I looked at my watch and it was 10 minutes earlier than I anticipated. I MUST have had a good swim.

The bike was my biggest mental block for the event. I knew I had to get off the bike by 1pm or they would pull me. I had calculated what my MPH should be. The first half off the bike was amazing. I felt like I was at a strong pace, and the sun was starting to poke out and the view of the Pacific Ocean was incredible. Finally there was the turn around and then BAM the wind hit me. It was brutal. There were points of the ride where I was at 5 mph. My feet were starting to hurt, and sitting on the bike seat was getting more and more painful. I looked down at my garmin and it read 53 miles. I wanted to get in before noon. So, I pushed myself and broke free from the pack I was riding in. Finally I reached the bike dismount and was cheered on by my friends Wilma and Diane. I had a speedy transition and was on the run by 11:55.

THE RUN. It was bad. It was really really bad. I made sure to keep hydrated. My legs felt like bricks and it became pretty apparent I couldn't BS my way into a good run. I just wanted to finish. The run was my longest half marathon ever. At mile 12 I said to myself, "you are almost there. You can do this." The last part of the run is in the sand. When my tired feet hit the beach I knew that it was happening. I was going to finish something. I can't explain the significance of this. These past few years I have noticed my confidence in myself was declining. Not just as a triathlete, but as a person. I totally needed some Stewart Smalley in my life because I didn't feel good enough, smart enough and doggone it liked by people. As I crossed the finish line at a strong pace it was a reminder that yes, I am strong. I may not be the fastest out there or the fittest, but I am brave. I am brave enough to sign up for events that scare the crap out of me and brave enough to put on a sparkle skirt and show the world you can have fun with this too.

And you know what? I improved my time by 9 minutes from 2008's race. My swim time was 41 minutes! This is a PR for me and makes me want to break 40 minutes in the future. I maintained a 15 mph pace on my bike. Not too shabby. The run, well the run was just "meh."

But, I finished it and felt great. I was surrounded by friends and returned home to my amazing hubby who eventually support my crazy hairbrained ideas.

So there it is. The curse of the half ironman is broken. And you know what? Completing my 2nd half ironman was wayyyy better than my first.

6 Days...

Until Big Kahuna Triathlon. The nerves are definitely starting to bubble to the surface. In fact, I baked two nights in a row to deal with my nervous energy. Fortunately, my husband's co-workers are more than happy to help me deal with my neurosis by taking one for the team and eating home baked goods.

So, it is what it is. I have had quite a few solid weeks of training under my belt. I did have some paranoia about the bike cut off, as I had flashbacks of being pulled from the race at last year's Wildflower. But, I will have to do the number crunching to figure out my sweet spot for mph on the bike and pay attention to that. The run...well, as my coach said, "The run will be the run."

In other news, something amazing happened this weekend. In addition to swimming, biking, running, celebrating my 5th wedding anniversary, and getting in some much needed family and friend time, I did something I NEVER had done before.

(wait for it)

I poached an egg.

Seriously, this is like an amazing feat for me. This past year I have mastered the creamiest scrambled eggs (the trick: melt butter in pan over low heat, while it melts whisk your eggs about a minute, and a tablespoon of milk and then whisk the eggs like crazy, to the point of your bicep hurting, then add to melted butter, let is sit 30 seconds, and every once in a while scrape the eggs around in the pan. slow. low heat. perfection!). For some reason I could not figure out how to poach eggs. The whites would separate and float all over the pan, or I would overcook the yolk. I even watched a Good Eats episode for guidance. One day I went through a whole carton of eggs with no success.

But something got into me Sunday morning. I wanted to make breakfast for hubby and didn't want to go to the store. I made mixed berry muffins from scratch, but used up the rest of the milk, so couldn't make scrambled eggs. I eyed the carton of eggs and grabbed my America's Test Kitchen cookbook with authority. You better watch out eggs, because today you are getting poached.

I analyzed the recipe and the accompanying picture for submerging the eggs in the water. I took a deep breath and got all the utensils ready. My skillet was filled to the brim with water and some vinegar. I set the temp high to get the water to boiling point. I took out two ramekins and cracked two eggs in both. I could feel beads of sweat forming at my forehead. Hubby came into the kitchen and asked in a cheerful voice, "What are you making?"

"I am poaching eggs."

"Whoa," he said and gradually inched backwards to make an escape. See, he was there through a majority of the poaching attempts and may still be a little traumatized by all the swearing.

The water was boiling, now time to reduce the heat. I gradually tipped the eggs into the water, put a lid on the skillet removed from the heat and set the timer for 5 minutes.

Longest. Five. Minutes. Ever.

Finally the "beep beep" came and I removed the lid, scared at what I was going to see. I carefully took rhe eggs out with a slotted spoon and placed two on a plate with a muffin and presented to hubby.

"So," I told him, "I think I did it. I think those are poached."

He cut into the egg with his fork and the right amount of yolk oozed out. He took a bite.

"Yup! Those are poached!"

Yay!

So, you are probably thinking what the heck do poached eggs have to do with a half ironman?

Well, I guess what I realized was that I poached the egg succesfully because I focused on all the steps. There is no room for error. My plan for Sunday: stay focused and in the NOW of the event. Every stroke of my swim will be deliberate.If I find myself slacking on the bike, I will evaluate my posture, ensure I am pushing through pedal strokes. On the run I will just keep my legs going and remind myself I have done 13 miles plenty of times. And that even though it feels like a long time, it's really about the same amount of time as a Transformers movie with previews in a theater (and I will repeat to myself that sitting through Transformes would prbably be more painful than the run). I will ensure that I drink water and eat enough on the bike. I have a couple friends who are making the trip to santa cruz just to cheer me on. How awesome is that?

My plan for Sunday? It really boils down to one thing: I plan to cross that finish line.

Tour of Napa Valley Ride Report

I think I realized something key about my personality. I am in a state of perpetual New Year's Resolutions. Or rather, I have high aspirations for my future self. What does this mean? It means, I think that my future self will be this amazing together person, without taking into consideration the limitations of my present self.

Confused? Let me give you an example of something that happened just this morning.

While rushing out of the house to get to work, I only have my car key in my purse. The reason it is not on my regular key chain is because I took it off to keep with me during yesterday's Tour of Napa Bike Ride (more on that later). I couldn't for the life of me remember where my key chain with all my keys is. I searched my car, searched my purse, searched my triathlon bag---nothing. Just as I was about to lose it, the little light bulb went off-"Oh yeah!" I unzipped the front (mind you, rarely used) pocket of my tri bag and there they are. I distinctly remember thinking yesterday as I put them in that --rarely used--pocket, "I will DEFINITELY remember where I put these keys."

In my head, future self is much smarter than present self.

Another example would be the Tour of Napa ride which I registered back in June. I registered for the 100 mile option, thinking I would be nice and ready for it, because future self must be a bike training machine, right?

Not quite. Though I have biked pretty regularly in the last month, this year I have not topped over 30 miles. So, I decided to switch to the 65 mile option. I mean, I did 200 miles in one day last year, surely this will be cake for future self.

Um. Yeah. It was NOT cake. It was a big old slice of humble pie.

I woke up at 4:45 to drive to Napa yesterday. I met my friend at the start in Yountville and we were on the road by 7:30. We felt good. Our average mph was my goal mph and I was feeling strong the first 10 miles. And then she said, "What's that noise?"

"Oh yeah," I said acknowledging the rhythmic rrrrrring noise, "I hear that too. I don't know."

"Do you have a flat?"

"Nah, doesn't sound like a flat. I would know---uh oh, yeah we gotta pull over. I have a flat."

Twenties minutes and lots of grease everywhere, the flat was changed and we were back on the road.

And my spirit was slightly dampened.

We rode more. It was beautiful, taking us through wine country. The temperature was perfect, overcast but not super cold. One stretch of road was pretty tore up and a challenge to ride because of bumps and cracks. At mile 20 we had a slight climb. I read that there were two climbs on this ride.

We stopped at the rest stop at mile 34. I ate half a turkey sandwich and a fig newton. I was pretty beat already. My friend (whom I did Seattle to Portland with) and I were tripping over the fact that this was our first Century bike ride of the year. Last year, we were at this distance by March. And why was it so hard? So far, my theory on muscle memory is starting to lose its credibility.

We took off. It was hill time. At this point in the ride we got separated (she is faster than me). This hill was a bit of a beast. I would say it was about 4-5 miles of climbing. It was called Howell's hill and I thought it was an appropriate name considering some parts of my body were howling. The people on the ride were very friendly. Everyone LOVED pink bike. However, one guy passed me. On. the. Right. Um, hello? Oh, and another guy was riding slowly up the hill. As I passed him I looked over and saw him on his cell phone. Seriously?

Finally the hill was over and we went downhill a little. I stopped at the water stop to fill my bottle. My legs were thrashed. I got back on my bike and realized I was still in the easy granny gear and my wheels were spinning. I couldn't get a hold of my bike and gradually started to tip over almost falling into a group of hardcore cyclist who were standing around.

Smooth move.

I headed back out on the road. Now was time for the downhill. It was crazy. At one point to the right of me I could see the whole Napa Valley ( I tried to take a picture but my cell phone camera skills leave a lot to be desired). It was a long downhill, and I took it as easy as possible but at some points I was at 30 mph (for me that is fast!). There were some sharp turns and towards the end a really gnarly hairpin. There was a stop sign at the bottom of the hill and one guy looked to his buddy and said, "That was INTENSE."

Yup. It was.

The last 20 miles of the ride was pure torture. Every part of me was in pain from my shoulders to my feet. I hit some wind. Would this ride ever end? Never again, I thought to myself, will I wait until August to bike this far. Oh, and perhaps gradually I will get to this mileage. My future self will train much better.

I was at the finish and met up with my friend. We ate some food, and then headed on our separate way.

It was a great event in terms of scenery, support, and a minimal number of cars on the road. Not so great in terms of the reality of where I am at right now with my bike fitness. Next year will be a different story.

Right, future self?

Water Water Everywhere

I think I may have gotten a little delirious after the event high from last weekend's awesome Silicon Valley Open Water Swim. I made an impulsive decision to register for a Lake Tahoe Swim. It was this past Saturday. I convinced my friend (I think we may be event registration enablers) to sign up as well. We went back and forth. Do we drive up Friday, do the event Saturday and come back? Do we drive up Saturday, and drive back Sunday? We wanted to bike that weekend as well, but didn't want to deal with leaving our bikes out during the swim. The logistics were hurting our brains. So we decided that I would drive to Sacramento (where she lives) after work on Friday. We would wake up super duper early Saturday, do the swim and then drive back after.

Yes, we decided to go to Lake Tahoe and back in one day.

Um, yes. We are crazy.

We woke up at 3:30(!). We actually got to Lake Tahoe at 6. Not too bad. However, the event website wasn't the most user friendly and we weren't sure exactly where it was. Her GPS took us on a wild goose chase through a campground, but miraculously we found Day parking and a trail to the beach. Yay! Except when we got to the beach, it wasn't super obvious there was an event. We finally found registration. I gave the woman my USAT card and she asked me, "Wetsuit or non-wetsuit?" My friend and I exchanged enabling glances. See, I had brought my wetsuit but I didn't want to wear it. But everyone was telling me that the water was cold at Tahoe.

But, I saw the look in my friend's eyes and I knew my answer.

I sighed, "No wetsuit."

Um, yes. We are crazy.

She gave us markers to write our race numbers on our limbs. DIY body marking--gotta love a grass roots event.

We got to the shore and gingerly stepped into the water. I may have sworn a little. It was cold! Am I a total idiot for doing this? We swam around a little bit and then got out because it was still 40 minutes before the event started. We headed to the beach for the pre-race talk. The race director talked about the courses. They had 3 options: 1/2 mile, 1 mile, and 2 mile. We signed up for the two mile. Unlike last week's event--which was two one mile loops---this was an out and back event. Here is basically how the race director described the course:

"Ok, for the half mile swim you want to swim around that buoy, at the second buoy make a right and head to the finish."

Ok, the second buoy looked close. Not too bad.

"For the one miler you want to go past the first two buoys and turn around at the third buoy."

I squinted my eyes and finally was able to see the last buoy. Um, that looks far.

"Ok, for the 2 mile swim you want to go past that last buoy and turn around at the buoy further out."

Um, what buoy?

As if reading my mind, he said "You can't see it from here."

Gulp.

Um, yes. We are crazy.

The swim started. Brrrrrr! It was a long swim. It felt long because it took a long time until the turnaround buoy was visible. I kept expecting myself to get warm, but it remained consistently cold. Then I would hit warm parts and would freak out a little. I remembered one of my friends telling me that when you die from hypothermia you actually feel warm all over. (note: I have not researched this. Just repeating what someone told me).

So then I started thinking "OMG! DO I HAVE HYPOTHERMIA?"

Well, duh, of course I didn't have it. It was just the ridiculous mental freakout that is similar to when I am in the ocean and touch seaweed: "OMG! IS THAT A SHARK?"

There were only 20 of us doing the 2 mile option and I was definitely one of the slowest. So, basically I was swimming in Tahoe by myself. Except the size of the race meant that one of the volunteer kayakers was with me the whole time. THAT was awesome. At the final buoy I stopped and he said, "Just a straight shot to the finish."

"Am I last?" I asked him.

"No."

"It's fine if I am. Someone has to be last. I have no ego issues being THAT person..." Ok Jill, just shut up and swim.

And I did. AND I MADE IT AND DIDN'T GET HYPOTHERMIA. AND I WASN'T LAST. (I was second to last).

My friend was there cheering me on. She got 1st and I got 2nd in our age group. And yes, it was only the two of us. But I happily took my pint glass that read "BIG BLUE ADVENTURES 2nd."

In summary, an AMAZING swim. . The water was clear, beautiful and tranquil. I was actually worried about the elevation affecting my breathing, but it wasn't a problem at all. In fact, I checked results today and my swim was 3 minutes faster than last week's time. WHAHOO!

OK, so the only issue with all of these events I have done is only ONE was in the ocean. I probably should snap out of my denial and get in there at some point before Big Kahuna, right?

Right.

That's Gonna Leave a Mark: Silicon Valley Open Water Swim Race Report

The key to get to the podium at events? Do events where there are only three people in your age group. Yup---at yesterday's SwimOutlet.com Open Water Swim I somehow managed to get 1st place for non-wetsuit females in my age group. ME? First place? At something related to swimming? Hilarious!

I giddily accepted the bottle of Two Buck Chuck wine as my prize (seriously, how awesome is that? I may have to put that in my wine cellar to commemorate this victory. Hah! Like I have a wine cellar). The woman who got 3rd place posed with me for a picture. She was super cute because she was just as surprised as I was for placing. Her eyes got all big as she said, "Oh my gosh I wasn't even going to swim today!"

Honestly though, I didn't sign up for non-wetsuit because I thought I would increase my odds of placing. I plan to do the Slam the Dam 3.6 mile swim in October without a wetsuit because the temperature is supposed to be pretty warm, so figured I should see what it is like. I was actually a little nervous about the swim since the longest I have swam in open water was probably 1.5 miles.

Swimming without a wetsuit was AMAZING! I just loved that each stroke felt natural, I could breathe normally, and I didn't have the sore shoulder issues I have been having in my wetsuit.

I was super scared of swimming without a wetsuit mainly because of the other swimmers. For some reason the wetsuit makes me feel like I have some protection. I have a fear of someone doing breaststroke and kicking me so my knee dislocates and then I will flail around and a lifeguard will come rescue me and then I will have to go to the ER.

In my head, the wetsuit would protect me from dislocations.

Fortunately, no injuries like that. However, I didn't anticipate scratching. In the open water it is pure aquatic Armageddon and everyone gets all up in your business. I literally felt someone scratch their claws in me as they were attempting to do a freestyle stroke. "Ow," I thought to myself, "That's going to leave a mark."

The swim was two loops in the Stevens Creek Reservoir. The first mile loop was ok. I still haven't figured out how to swim faster in the open water. About halfway through the second loop the strangest thing happened. I got totally disoriented. The reservoir is surrounded by trees and everything looks the same, and all of the sudden I had a, "Where the heck am I?" kind of feeling. I can't explain it. I can only compare it to those times where you are driving home and you can't remember driving to a certain point. Minds are weird.

Of course what makes these events so great is getting to do them with my peeps. Some of my workout buddies did it, along with one of my friends whom I did Seattle to Portland with last year. Her and I actually decided to do an easy ride after the race. I forgot how hardcore she is, so our definition of "easy" differed. To me, "easy" was a 5 mile ride. To her, "easy" was 25 or 30 miles. We did 22, and kicked up the pace the last half. It was awesome to be able to push one another.

It was great to have a successful event coming from the heels of another fun event (last week's International Triathlon). 2009 and 2010 were a little lackluster in terms of my enjoyment of events. I think I was trying desperately to get back that feeling I had the first couple of years of tris. But with anything in life, trying to replicate something in the past will only set you up for disappointment in the present. I think I was way hard on myself the past couple of years thinking that success was defined by a time. I may never do a half marathon in under two hours. Does that mean it isn't worth it to do these things? Last week was the slowest I have ever done that distance in, but it still felt fantastic. It feels great to know that I can move past literally crying on the track two weeks ago to having fun at events again.

So the goal for the rest of the year? Brace yourself because it is going to sound way hippie and new agey. I just want to, like, live in the moment man. Take the water in. See the world from the seat of a bicycle. Feel myself connecting with the trail.

Oh goodness gracious. Where did THAT come from? Did I mention I have been without cable tv for 6 weeks? Perhaps my lack of reality television viewing has chipped away some of my cynicism? If I start wearing Patchouli oil, please please please have an intervention. Yikes.

Pink Bike Blog

As posted on my FB status, today marks the three year anniversary of bike crash/mild concussion/awesome road rash for cred with bike shop dudes at my first attempt at a half-ironman at Barb's Race.

Rather than rehash those details, I am doing what hubby told me I should have done months ago.

Write about Pink Bike.

Last year after the grueling Seattle to Portland Bike Ride hubby decided I probably didn't want to look at my bike anymore and ordered a new PINK bike frame to build a road bike for me.

Awww, so cute, right? He must love me lots.

He does. But, I think he wanted an excuse to play bikes and have random bike parts strewn all across our living room and be all manly building something. He has jokingly referred to himself as OCT. He is not OCD. He just has Obsessive Compulsive Tendencies. Pink Bike Project gave him the opportunity to make a super matchy matchy bike with white accents (pink carbon frame? check. White bottle cage? Check? Pink Duct Tape? Check) and get all type A. I have to admit, the end product was pretty amazing. I love that my bike is super unique.

A couple of months ago as I was driving home from the Mermaid Alameda tri with pink bike on my rack, I did not realize hubby was behind me on the street before the turn to our townhouse. After we parked our cars and met each other in the driveway he said:

"That bike is really pink."

I said, "Uh yeah, I know. And you should too...you built it!"

He said, "Yeah, but when it is on your car bike rack in broad daylight...it is just...pink. Like, PINK pink."

And THAT is usually one of two reactions I get. It's either glee ("ohmagawdiluvyourpinkbikeitssewwwawesomeiwantone") or contained horror ("That is one pink bike.").

Either one works for me.

So in conclusion---YAY PINK BIKE! BOOO BIKE CRASHES!

California International Triathlon - Race Report

Yesterday was the California International Triathlon in Pleasanotn and I survived! Yay!

This was my first time doing this distance since the Silicon Valley International Triathlon in June of 2008. Long story short, I did this one 30 minutes slower than that one. But, 3 years ago was a different Jill.

A couple friends and I decided to stay in Pleasanton the night before since it was a 7am start. We went to packet pick up, browsed some cool shops in downtown Pleasanton, and ate at a super yummy Italian restaurant. One of these days I will do a race with proper nutrition the night before. This...was not that race.

The hotel was nice, except for the swarms of little kids in town for some sort of soccer tournament. Our room faced the pool and at 10:15 at night there was cackling, and hooting, hollering and the sounds of teenagers having fun. Yuck. I got upset and said, "They are in the pool past pool hours. This is not ok." My friend Diane called the front desk, "Excuse me, what time does the pool close? oh...11pm. Thank you." So, I got off my high horse and waited patiently for 11pm.

I will skip all the boring stuff about waking up, setting up transition, blah blah blah. Let's get to the race.

Swim: 36 minutes the swim was ok. The water was warm. My shoulders seem sore during the swim and I am wondering if it is time to switch to a sleeveless wetsuit. There were parts of the swim that got congested. At one point I felt someone grab on to my middle toe and deliberately pull it hard. What the heck? I kicked hard as if saying, "Not cool bro. Not cool." Or would it be, "not cool sis?"

Bike:1:41 minutes The bike was a little chilly with only a sleeveless bike jersey. There was a long annoying hill, and some sketchy parts of the road with glass and other fun flat-tire causing debris. I kept playing the "you pass me, I pass you" game with this one annoying cyclist. At one point I yelled on your left and as I was shoulder to shoulder with him he hammered on his pedals to go faster. Not cool bro. So I backed off, put my hand out in front of me and barked at him, "FINE! GO THEN!" And then I may or may not have mumbled some swear words. Sometimes I think the men don't like being passed by a pink bike.
I think I could have done the bike faster. I think going forward I will only have a garmin during the bike portion (past few races I have been technology free) as I think I can maintain a faster MPH.

Run: 1:14 OK...a slow 10k. But, I am a little out of practice running 6 miles after 25 mile bike. The run was hard. There were some hills, it got hot, and they did not mark any miles except mile 1. But, for the first time in a long time on a run I was enjoying myself. I mean, I was in pain, definitely need new shoes, and was drooling over a massage I booked for the following night. But I felt good (ish).

Overall time was 3:37. I am totally fine with it considering I haven't been religiously training. And, I think I kinda have a crush on International distances. They are just more interesting than sprints.