"I Don't Want to be THAT Girl."

Not quite sure how to start this post...

How about:
"I need a vacation from my vacation."
or:

"Look before you Leap."

The story begins about a year ago when some friends and I swam around the wharf in Santa Cruz. This was a particularly memorable swim because it was the first time I almost had a panic attack in the water. The combination of the cold water, constriction of the wetsuit, and my fear of sharkies took over my breathing. I was just around the wharf and could not catch my breath. The shore looked so far away. My friends helped me out tremendously and told me to relax and that everything was going to be fine. From that swim on anytime I was in the ocean in a wetsuit I had this unsettling feeling that a panic attack was ready to bubble to the surface.

The crazy thing is---I LOVE the ocean. Hubby and I did two tropical vacations last year and he nicknamed me "Labrador" because I kept wanting to jump in the water--particularly on our trip to Maui last year. I loved the warm water, seeing the fish under me, and NOT wearing a wetsuit. For some reason I can't get that feeling swimming in the ocean here.

So, of course I was super excited to go on another Maui trip this year. The plan was to spend 3 days on the Makena/Wailea side with my good friend Diane and then head over to the Kaanapali side for 3 days and stay with my parents. For the past month Diane and I were going crazy with anticipation on this trip. We left last Friday.

I knew I wanted this to be an active trip. Swim, bike, run...maybe some core? So, I rented a Specialized bike for the week. Friday late afternoon after we checked into our hotel we went to the beach and splashed around. Makena Beach is awesome and not as congested as the other side of the island. We woke up super early Saturday morning. Poor Diane got to see my not-so-sunny morning disposition. I kept getting woken up by her phone getting emails (BING! BING!). I looked over at the window and it was pitch black. I had no idea what time it was and was super grouchy. (Hubby can attest to my b**y morning mood). Her phone BINGed again and I looked over at her in her bed and said:
"THAT needs to be turned DOWN."

Not my best moment.

I then rolled over looked at the clock and saw that it was 5:55 am. Hmmm...might as well wake up. I got up made some coffee and cheerfully asked Diane, "Cream and sugar?"
She gave me a "WTH?" look and was confused by the switch from grouch to ms. mary sunshine.

I said in a sing song voice, "Get up and let's go run!"

Another "WTH" face from Diane.

We put on our running clothes and stopped by the front desk to find a running route. We decided to run down the road to Big Beach. It was a little over a mile there, mostly running on the road.

We found the entrance to Big Beach and met an interesting hippie boy who had his camper set up in the parking lot. There were some roosters in the parking lot and he said they were his pets.

Okay...

We headed to the beach. The sun was rising and the water looked amazing. I said, "Let's jump in!" Diane, who was only used to "fear of ocean Jill", was confused. But we took off our running shoes and jumped in. The water was brisk and amazing! We stared at the ocean in front of us amazed by the beauty of everything. And then we saw it.

Way in the distance a whale breached. It was amazing. We kept scanning the ocean to find it. It was our first full day in Maui and we already saw a whale!

We ran back to the hotel and put our swimsuits on under our clothes and headed to breakfast. It was awesome that we had a buffet breakfast included in our hotel and the breakfast had an assortment of great foods. I had fresh fruit, srambled eggs and yogurt everyday. I wasn't sure if I would log weight watchers on my trip and knew that making sensible choices was key. And staying active.

After breakfast we headed to the beach at our hotel. We sunscreened up and I put on my cap and goggles. We wanted to get an open water swim in. I told Diane, "We will swim along the beach, right?"
She looked at the ocean and said, "Let's swim to that buoy."

The buoy looked way far away.

"WHAT?" I said, "No, we agreed we would swim along the shore." It looked way scary going that far out with just the two of us. She asked one of the employees how far the buoy was and he said a 1/4 mile. We jumped in and Diane said, "Come on. Let's go. You need to get over your fear."

I took a deep breath and started swimming. I could feel the nerves in my stomach. I tried to keep my cool. A boat stopped near the buoy and we realized it was a snokreling excursion. It calmed me down knowing there were other people in the water. We made it to the buoy and swam a little more. We started swimming south and I showed Diane how many sommersaults in a row I could do in the water. We heard a loud blowing noise and both said, "what the heck?" We looked over at where it came from and saw a boat where we were just swimming. Oh, we thought to ourselves, it was just the boat.

And then this HUGE whale came out of the water. WHERE WE WERE JUST SWIMMING.

We both screamed (her with delight, me with a little fear). I was gradually treading myself back toward shore and we watched the whale swim past us. Another one popped up with it.

It was...INCREDIBLE.

We went back to shore and 3 people approached us asking us if we were the people swimming with the whale. From shore it must have looked like the whale was 10 feet from us.

We totally felt like a big deal for the rest of the day.

After the swim I put my bike clothes on so I could take a quick spin on the bike and get used to it. I rode to Kihei. It was so nice riding in the sun again. I passed a restaurant recommended to us by the hotel staff and made note of its location. I looked at my watch and decided it would be a good time to turn around. I stopped at a Hawaiian Ice stand and had a delicious Lychee Ice. So refreshing! The specialized was a great ride and it was fun to do a jumbled up triathlon that day. Ran 2 1/2 miles, swam 45 minutes, ride 12 miles. Whoo hoo!

We had a delicious dinner at Cafe Au Lei in Kihei. Diane got an email from an open water swim group we had found online that meets Sunday mornings at the hotel we were staying at. At that point we weren't sure if we were going to join them. We didn't know where they swam, what their pace was. The next morning after breakfast we decided we would join them. We scanned the beach trying to find the group and then saw a bunch of people putting swim caps on. We made our way over to them. Diane looked at me and said, "Do they have fins?"

I looked closer. "yeah, they all have fins. That's weird."

So we swam with the group and we were the only two fools that didn't have fins on. The leader of the group said there are different options to swim too. We went out toward the buoy and then swam along the shore south. Diane just bought an underwater camera and we played around taking underwater shots. We saw fishies and turtles. A nice woman swam with us since everyone else was way ahead (again---I blame the lack of fins). One guy said, "Brrr it's so cold." We laughed and said the water was amazing. They were way impressed that we swam in the Bay Area. Well, DIANE swims in the Bay Area.

We hit the turn around spot and someone (with FINS) said, "Wow, you guys made it here." Uh, yeah, because we are ROCK STARS. Then we heard the faster group saw a shark.

Uh, SAY WHAT?

Ever since I saw Jaws when I was 22 I have a major fear of sharks. Stupid Steven Spielberg.

"Oh yeah, " a woman said as we were treading water, "There is one shark we see around here. We call him Bruce."

Diane looked at me. I took a deep breath.

"Bruce, wow." I said.

Ok, time to head back. I did not want a formal introduction to Bruce.

The swim back was tough and the current was really choppy. We finally made it back to shore.

We were swimming for about 2 hours and were pooped. It was awesome though to feel strong to do a long swim so early in the season.

We plopped into our beach chairs and passed out on the beach. We totally earned the cabana massages we booked for that afternoon!

Another delicious dinner and we passed out watching Celebrity Apprentice. An alarm sound woke us up and we realized it was the 10 o'clock news and they were running emergency broadcasts on flash flood warnings on Oahu.

We woke up the next morning ready to start the next part of the trip. Our bags were packed. Diane was doing a whale watching kayak tour and I was riding my bike 35 miles to the condo my parents were staying at in Kaanapali. Diane was staying in the same condo complex and would drive the luggage up. I was a little nervous riding by myself mainly because it was unfamiliar rodes. We ate our last yummy breakfast at the hotel and I headed out on my bike. The first 20 miles were amazing. I was smiling the whole time looking at the amazing ocean to the left of me.

And then the rain started. And it POURED. I was laughing at myself riding my bike in Maui totally soaked. I had packed a swimsuit and coverup in the backpocket of my jersey to wear when I got there and they were soaked. I made it to my parents condo and was a dirty soggy mess. The ride was great though. It was an AMAZING way to see the island.

My parents and I went to lunch and then Diane texted me to let her know she made it to her condo. The four of us headed to Napili Point which is my parents favorite place to snorkel.

The water was too choppy to snorkel and Diane and I played in the water a little. Another great Maui day.

Tuesday morning I headed to Diane's (OCEAN FRONT!) condo for some coffee and we drove over to Whalers village for a run. We ran two miles and did some core. The water was very choppy and the red flags were up. We saw surfers and then saw an arm come out of the water.

"Is that a swimmer?' I asked Diane.

It was. Whoa. We both remarked upon his stroke and said he was a good swimmer. You could tell he was working hard in that choppy water. We chatted with him when he got out and he said it was a challenging swim. And he was a way experienced swimmer.

Now, dear reader, in the literary world they would call this foreshadowing.

After breakfast at my parents condo Diane and I decided to drive around to find beaches to swim in. We went up to Honolua Bay. It is a great snorkeling area but is a little tough to get in because of the rocks. The water was choppy and no one was getting in. We decided to head back to Napili.

Ok, so I want to put a warning out to you if you are reading this. If you have open water fears, you may not want to read further...or maybe you should.

So, we went to napili. The red flags were up (which basically means, "this water is dangerous, don't be an idiot and get in."). I put my goggles on and jumped in.

Oh, wait, I forgot to mention the conversation Diane and I had earlier that morning. She, having way more knowledge of ocean, currents, etc (she swam alcatraz 4 times last year. rock star.) was also wrapping her mind around this new open water loving Jill. She said, 'If you get caught up in the current I won't save you because then we will both be caught up. I don't think I am strong enough for that." I laughed it off. "What makes you think I am the one needing saving?" She said, "Because you have just been jumping in the water without abandon." I rolled my eyes thinking, "Whatever."

Again. Foreshadowing.

So, back to Napili. I jumped in the water and Diane was still on shore. She said she wasn't going in. Fine, I will just splash around. I did a few strokes out and swam around. I looked up and saw Diane on the shore looking at me. I splashed around more and decided to head back. The shore seemed close enough. I did a couple strokes. Hmmm...not really moving anywhere. Did more strokes. This is interesting. How come this is taking so long?

And then time stopped.

I kept swimming and swimming and it just seemed hard. The waves were strong and would take me towards shore and then suck me back in. It still didn't hit me what was going on until I looked at the shore and saw people lining up watching me. It felt like 40 people were watching me. Someone on a megaphone was yelling at me to swim along the shoreline. I tried doing that. Not quite working. Then they started running the other way to a rocky area north of me. They told me to swim to the rocks. I swam towards the rocks thinking at this point they would get me out. A hotel employee threw a lifesaver at me. I was bouncing around near the rocks at this point and said, "Can't I get out?" There were so many people staring at me. I saw Diane and the look of worry on her face and felt horrible for making her worry. They told me it was too dangerous at the rocks and I had to swim back out.

Um, Say what? I have to go back OUT there?

The current took me out and I carefully moved my body around so my head and back wouldn't hit the rocks.

My legs hit the rocks. Ouch.

At this point I was out in the ocean with my arm wrapped around the lifesaver. I looked out at the shore and the rocks. So many people watching me (did I mention when I was at the rocks I saw someone from above filming me on their iphone? Nice.). My only thought at that point was, 'I don't want to be THAT girl. That stupid tourist who swam when it was dangerous." In the back of my head I knew this was serious. I also knew what it felt like to have panic attacks in the water and I knew that if that happened, I could be a gonner. So, I just concentrated on staying calm. Just keep swimming. It was frustrating to put my everything in my stroke and to literally stay in the same place. I kept looking at the shore and thinking:

"No. Not today."

Then I heard sirens and thought to myself, "Hmmmm...I hope that is for me."

Then out of nowhere a Jet Ski came to me. He told me to climb on and he took me to shore. I was so thankful at that point. He dropped me off close to shore and I made my way to the sand. Apparently he left me there so he could go pick up the two lifeguards who went out to save me. The EMTs checked me out. I finally found Diane and she had a look that was a mix of "THANK GOD and I AM SO (EXPLETIVE) PISSED AT YOU." (I rarely use salty language in this blog and figured this is a time that merits it.)

They took my vitals. And said my heart rate was a little high (duh, I was kinda swimming a lot). Then they saw the blood on my ankle. they cleaned it up and asked me to stand up.

"Oh yeah, she has a big cut there."

"On my BUTT?" I said, "IS MY BUTT CUT UP?"

The emt and lifeguards surrounded me to look at the owie. This must be my punishment for swimming in the red flags. 4 cute 20-something lifeguards and emts inspecting my bloody butt. Great.

They put bandages on me and said it would be best to get checked out by a doctor.

I was still in shock on the drive over. I aplogized profusely to Diane and called my coach and sister. A knot formed in my stomach since I knew I would have to tell my parents.

We went to a doctor's office at Whalers Village and coped by making jokes. "Text Heather and ask how many weight watchers activity points are in almost drowning." The nurse took me to a room and I saw a scale, "Well, this is good since I missed my weigh in at Weight Watchers yesterday."

Long story short: 6 stitches on my bootie. Diane and I walked over to a restaurant and we ordered happy hour drinks. Lots of them. I started crying in my mangotini. It felt surreal what happened. It still feels surreal.

At this point it was pouring and we walked around the shops in whalers village. I popped into this cute boutique and a spacy storegirl asked how I was. I said,"GLAD TO BE ALIVE." and then I gave her a short version of the adventure. "WOWWWW," she said and she stared at me. I thought she was taking in the story, that I was fighting for my life. And then she said, "Are your eyes two different colors?"

Wait...what?

"Uh, yeah, "I said.

"Oh my GAWD, " she squealed. "I ALWAYS WANTED MY EYES TO BE TWO DIFFERENT COLORS."

Right. I gave Diane a look that said, "Let's get the hell out of here."

We headed back to my parents condo and we broke the news to them. It was so great to be with them and I cried a couple more times that night. I called Hubby and told him the story. He was pretty calm and said, "Well, we both do crazy things sometimes." I think he was trying to downplay it so I wouldn't go crazy and say "You are NOT riding your motorcycle to Alaska in June!"

So, I am back in the Bay Area. The bruises have started popping up now and the whole "I feel like I got hit by a bus" feeling now makes sense.

I did learn a couple things:
1) DON'T SWIM WHEN RED FLAGS ARE UP.
2) Don't Panic.
3) What I did was selfish. I jumped in without thinking. There was a whole beach of people (including one of my good friends) who was worried sick about my safety. And it was all because I wanted a little splish splash time.
4) DON'T be scared of sharks. Be wary of the tide. Be respectful of the ocean. She is powerful and amazing and much stronger than you.
5) Have faith in the stregth of not only your body but also your mind. Fortunately, knowing how to swim worked in my favor. But not PANICKING saved me as well.
6) Be thankful for those who saved you. My friend Diane insisted that they get help for me. She is amazing. That jet ski was probably the best thing I had ever seen.
and finally
7) DON'T SWIM WHEN THE *&%#@ing RED FLAGS ARE UP!